Sports Hernia Blog

NBA draft lottery offers usual hijinx


The suspicious Martin Shannon, Ernst & Young’s version of Clarence Beeks, arrives with the team cards in official lottery result order.  Yes, trust just went out the window.


The presence of Beeks causes an understandable wave of tension and uneasiness throughout the panel of team representatives, particularly Minnesota’s Fred Hoiberg.  Jay-Z however, appears to be perfectly relaxed. 


Tension is quickly averted following the reliable, wacky antics of Mike Dunleavy and Bucks GM John Hammond.


Forced to follow sacred team tradition, Knicks representative Mike D’Antoni takes a nap.


John Hammond finally cuts the bullshit and asks himself, "am I really creepier than Larry Harris?"


Bizarre human Adam Silver waves his freak flag and turns the
draft lottery into his own demented version of The Dating Game.  The Bulls Steve Schanwald was the lucky winner.


  1. Wayne

    May 20, 2008 at 10:43 pm

    fuck the Wolves got the 3rd pick… the worst pick in the draft.

  2. Von Kaiser

    May 21, 2008 at 9:39 am

    Hoiberg is still trying to come down from the ecstasy.

  3. The Dude

    May 21, 2008 at 9:51 am

    “I’ll rip out your eyes and piss on your brain.”

    Clarence Beeks is the best!

  4. charlie

    May 21, 2008 at 10:50 am

    Beeks! Holy crap.

  5. Stonehands

    May 21, 2008 at 10:55 am

    Martin Shannon looks suspiciously like Jerry Krause.

    /raises eyebrow and looks into camera

  6. jnr98

    May 21, 2008 at 11:20 am

    and D’Antoni just called his agent wondering if could change his mind and go to the Bulls instead!

  7. Cinematically-Correct

    May 21, 2008 at 12:26 pm

    Little did Dwayne Wade & Fred “The Mayor” Hoiberg know…but the first through third picks were actually decided by height, from shortest to tallest.

  8. Harvey Bars

    May 22, 2008 at 12:01 am

    If I’m the little cancer kid whose Teddy Bear Fred Hoiberg was holding, I’m wondering what I’m in store for if my good luck charm only managed to keep the T’Wolves in the exact same place they were before the lottery. Also, I may take the easy way out and turn down any treatment as opposed to watching my team draft Brook Lopez. Probably less painful.

  9. saucy

    May 23, 2008 at 10:01 am

    when i look at that set, i can’t help but think of those cable access quiz shows i used to see where kids from local high schools would compete.

  10. Biff

    May 26, 2008 at 9:57 pm

    Is it just me, or does Shannon look even more suspiciously like Bill Belichick?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *