Sports Hernia Blog

State Trooper Giambi makes triumphant return


This shot from Camden Yards last night confirms the rumors that have been circulating throughout all of baseball — State Trooper Giambi is back.

This time the eccentric, no nonsense cop is sporting shorter locks
to go along with his mustache, and without those customary aviators on,
he’s looking less like a statie and more like Sean Penn after eating Robert Duvall in the sequel to Colors.

Johnny Damon is doing an excellent job here of playing the unintelligible sidekick who is too mentally scarred to look up and make eye contact, but provides the necessary muscle when needed; especially if you touch his only loyal friend, State Trooper Giambi.

Sidenote:  The 2008 State Trooper Giambi is doing something that the
2007 version couldn’t do, actually hit, which is leading to fewer unwarranted tickets at first base.


  1. Gourmet Spud

    May 28, 2008 at 10:25 am

    Giambi’s only hitting well because he’s got all that damn syrup in him.

  2. Zen Wizard

    May 28, 2008 at 11:41 am

    Steve Zahn should play him in the Lifetime movie.

  3. jnr98

    May 28, 2008 at 11:55 am

    Don’t look now, but Damon’s in the early stages of a moustache, too. Deputy Damon, to the rescue.

  4. Von Kaiser

    May 28, 2008 at 4:41 pm

    Matsui is clearly above all of this stupidity.

  5. Super Being.

    May 28, 2008 at 10:10 pm

    MM Sucks Cock.

  6. Aram

    May 29, 2008 at 12:34 am

    haha fuckin best post

  7. SoxAddict

    May 30, 2008 at 12:17 pm

    Why does Matsui look so HUGE?!

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