Sports Hernia Blog

Giant douche comments on gigantic assbag’s leadership skills

Curt Schilling attended the Lakers-Celtics game in Boston the other night and, much to our surprise, he was gracious enough to post an entry in his blog about it!  In doing so, Schill provided us with his take on Kobe Bryant’s leadership skills and the treatment of his teammates, ya know, the things Curt has always been so good at, because his teammates love him and certainly never want to run over his head with a rototiller.

Anyhow, in the event that Curt decides to attend another game, here are a few suggestions for him to consider as an alternative to his copious note taking:

– Shove cotton candy up his ass
– Place piping hot cheeseburgers on his eyeballs
– Order a waffle and repeatedly slap himself in the face with it
– Yell at his kids
– Cut holes in his jersey to expose his nipples
– Text Manny to tell him he’s been traded
– Let the fans behind him give him a perm
– Wear King Kong Bundy’s tights
– Take texting privileges away from his daughter
– Order two hot dogs and play the air drums with them
– Lecture all the cursing, drunk fans
– Get mic’d up so he can sing Nickelback
– Bravely take a shot to the face from a shirt rocket at point blank range
– Take a shot to the face from an actual rocket at point blank range
– Place burning flares in his ears and pretend to land a plane
– Roll himself into a giant strip of bacon and sit next to Rich Garces
– Sit next to Nelson de la Rosa and takes notes on him

Curt Schilling on Kobe: He?s No Leader  (The Big Lead)
Manny, JD, Papi, Lester and the NBA Finals  (38 Pitches)


  1. Mitch Williams

    June 10, 2008 at 3:57 pm

    Why didn’t dickhead put a towel over his head everytime the Celts were on the foul line?

  2. Stonehands

    June 10, 2008 at 4:05 pm

    I hope he wakes up next a to a horse head tomorrow.

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