- Traded 4 Times in 6 Days, Luke Ridnour Asks Himself … ‘Who am I?’
- Five Thirty Eight Sets Internet Ablaze With Shocking Report
- Johnny Football’s Money Sign Becomes Latest NFL Star to Retire Early
- Learn The Ins & Outs Of Beer Can Chicken From Clyde McFly
- LeBron’s Wild Hairline Fits Larry O’Brien Trophy … and a Chew Toy
- “Danny Farts Ball” Video Has 500K Views
- The Boston Globe Has Officially Stopped Giving A Shit
- Detroit Lions Take Sucking to An All New Level
- Sepp Blatter Resigns, Vince McMahon Rumored as Replacement
- Family Guy Called the Bruce Jenner “Situation” Quite Some Time Ago; Twice
Hernia NBA Special Report: No one knows shit
- Updated: June 26, 2008
A special Hernia study has uncovered that no one knows jack shit about tonight’s NBA Draft. With only a few hours to go, it has been safely determined that not one single NBA "insider" has a fucking clue.
Chad Ford has reported that Jerryd Bayless "very well could go to the Heat at No. 2, but don’t be surprised to see him end up with the Knicks at 6, although he could very well slip to the Celtics at 30, that is if the Bobcats don’t trade up to Memphis’ spot at 5 and grab him. Then again, he may wind up with the Sonics at number 4, as their interest in local product Big Foot has once again fizzled following several mediocre one-on-one workouts with Jack Sikma, who focused on post moves and pick-up lines. Nevertheless, don’t rule out the possibility of him not getting drafted at all and ending up quitting the game entirely."
While over at cnnSI.com, Ian Thompson similarly lacks any more of an idea than you or me; "Don’t be shocked if Mayo slides to the Knicks at 6, but since he’s possibly the best player in the draft, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Bulls take him at 1. Then again, Minnesota likes him as well, although Kevin Love, Danilo Gallinari, Brook Lopez, Russell Westbrook and some guy from Sweden are also a possibility at No. 3 for the Wolves. Dear God, someone help me."
ESPN’s Ric Bucher didn’t add much worth noting other than emphatically saying, "I’ll be tan ass hell."
Andy Katz, out with a mysterious eyebrow tweezing mishap, was unavailable for comment.