Sports Hernia Blog

The NBA really wants you to know it’s the Finals

In case you haven’t noticed since the NBA Finals began last Thursday, the Larry O’Brien Championship Trophy is everywhere.  Sure, it’s always had a presence this time of year and rightfully so, but now you can find it anywhere you look, and it’s begun to take on a cartoon-like presence

A trophy such as this with so much rich history surrounding it should command respect, but you can’t help but laugh at it’s painfully forced presence.  Here’s a quick look at some of the unusual places where the NBA has been force feeding us the whorish trophy.

– As witnessed at right, Jeff Van Gundy forced to wear gaudy trophy earrings
– Yankees and Red Sox forced to wear Finals Trophy patch
– Team bench towels replaced with replica trophy squeegees

– Mysterious giant trophies carved out in crop fields across globe

– Scot Pollard forced to paint little trophys on his nails

– Doug Collins forced to wear uncomfortable trophy-shaped underwear
– Gheorghe Muresan forced to dance with it on special version of ABC’s Dancing with the Stars
– Mike Breen forced to share a hotel room with it (probably not forced)

– Trophy now scripted to win Royal Rumble this weekend

– Joey Crawford forced to officiate every other quarter with it in his pants

– Regis forced to cohost with it for the rest of the week

– Trophy to replace Kramer in all episodes of Seinfeld this week

– NBC Nightly News to be anchored by the Trophy

– Extreme Makeover Home Edition to build new house for family of affable Trophys

– Trophy thankfully replaces Mike Lupica on The Sports Reporters (permanently)
– Curt Schilling spotted nearby taking notes on it (voluntarily)
– Phil Jackson dining with it inside a teepee
– Stern himself spotted in embarrassing, ill-fitted trophy costume

After the jump is a glimpse into the life of this sociable, shameless trophy…

Paul_pierce_stands_on_giant_troph_2 No need to add much here other than to mention that even if they put Sonic the Hedgehog’s head at center court, it still wouldn’t look as stupid as this.  Knocked it outta the park here guys, well done.

Idiot_takes_picture_of_giant_nba_trThis thing is sturdy enough that people can actually sit on it and have pictures taken.  What the event planners in Boston missed the boat on here though is a bow and arrow rental tent for those who are wise enough to realize how stupid this is and get annoyed enough that they want to take action into their own hands.


Lamar_odom_with_giant_trophy_friend Poor Lamar is a shell of himself next to this thing, so uncharacteristically tepid.  He looks like he’d rather wear Pau’s atrocious beard on his ass for a day than partake in this charade.



This is Hollywood and the best they can come up with is a 150-foot replica trophy?  We’re surprised it doesn’t have robotic arms so it can high-five all the dickheads who got tickets through a connection and are quite confident that Kobe still wears number 8.


We leave you with Derek Fisher and the trophy.  Partly because of how ridiculous it’s general presence is, but mostly because it looks like the ball has sidled it’s way towards the likable Fisher.


  1. Stonehands

    June 11, 2008 at 9:57 am

    If I don’t wear earrings like that during the Game 4, I am a FRAUD.

  2. How do you spell retard?

    June 11, 2008 at 11:36 am

    When did they change the net on the trophy into a trash can?

  3. TBone

    June 11, 2008 at 11:42 am

    @ How do you spell retard?

    Excellent call, it’s like a cartoon trash can.

  4. Von Kaiser

    June 11, 2008 at 12:33 pm

    Here’s a thought, Van Gundy, take a fucking nap.

  5. charlie

    June 11, 2008 at 2:34 pm

    Why does the trophy have to stand outside the arena? And why are people taking pictures of it like it’s some national monument?

  6. gerrard sir hornypants

    June 11, 2008 at 2:41 pm

    i woke up in the middle of the night last night, and the trophy was staring at me through my window…

  7. How do you spell retard?

    June 11, 2008 at 10:23 pm

    It just reminds me of those little plastic rims you could put on your trash can. As a kid, it seemed like the coolest thing ever. Then you realized you just dropped a five-spot on something making you the Kobe Bryant of janitorial work.
    -1 to you, plastic rims you can attach to your trash can

  8. Janitorial Cleaning Company

    June 6, 2014 at 11:36 pm

    Now that I am thinking about it, the trophy was everywhere. Funny thing is the finals was a Lakers/Celtics matchup meaning tons of ratings. I don’t think they needed to cheapen themselves and essentially spam the trophy everywhere.

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