Sports Hernia Blog

State Trooper Giambi upgrades to State Psycho Giambi


The dye job on his ‘stache undoubtedly raises the volume here.  He’s not really looking so much like a state trooper these days, it’s more like a guy who would shoot a state trooper dead on the spot for interrupting his car orgy.

Pretty sure if he walked into the Road House bar he’d rip off Wade Garrett’s mullet, ash in Dalton’s eyeballs and shit down Terry Funk’s neck.


State Trooper Giambi makes triumphant return
State Trooper Giambi reports for duty


  1. Stonehands

    June 24, 2008 at 10:40 pm

    That umpire has the sincere focus of a young Frank Drebin.

    Contrarily, the guy directly to Giambi’s left fears society.

  2. Marv

    June 25, 2008 at 1:54 am

    Is Giambi trying out for Carlito’s Way III?

    p.s. I think the guy to his left was in “Vanilla Sky”

  3. Upstate Underdog

    June 25, 2008 at 8:14 am

    When will he upgrade to 70’s porn star moustache?

  4. BoDuke

    June 25, 2008 at 8:44 am

    I was at the game last night and just to confirm the umpire is in fact Enrico Palatso (spelling?)

    ANd yes the ‘stache is dark, I was able to ask ST Trooper Giambi why his upper lip is ‘under cover’

  5. Gellman

    June 25, 2008 at 10:38 am

    Young man, there’s a place you can go…

  6. Zen Wizard

    June 25, 2008 at 11:08 am

    Heh, heh…Frank Drebin!

    I still think Steve Zahn is a shoo-in for the lead in “The Jason Giambi Story.”

    …though that ‘stache threatens to morph into John Wayne in “The Conqueror”:

  7. search engine marketing company

    June 25, 2008 at 5:30 pm

    As long as Giambi is getting on base i dont care if he wears the gold thong with a mustache!

  8. Zen Wizard

    June 25, 2008 at 6:46 pm

    The “.419 AVG” is sure an improvement, no?

  9. butte sniffah

    June 25, 2008 at 8:38 pm

    I’m so confused by this comment :(

    That umpire has the sincere focus of a young Frank Drebin.

    Contrarily, the guy directly to Giambi’s left fears society.

  10. adrianheh

    June 25, 2008 at 11:23 pm

    I think you meant the Double Deuce, no?

  11. How do you spell retard?

    June 26, 2008 at 12:34 am

    @Zen Wizard
    “…though that ‘stache threatens to morph into John Wayne in “The Conqueror”

    Did you mean John Wayne Gacy? There is no good look for Giambi. When he smiles, it looks like he’s missing a chromosome, when he doesn’t he looks like he will kill you.

  12. LEETS

    June 26, 2008 at 9:31 am

    But the real question is, why hasn’t he grown lightening bolt sideburns yet?

  13. Gross Negligence

    June 26, 2008 at 2:08 pm

    No, actually, the real question is, when are we going to trade while we still can get something other than an used condom for him?

  14. Baze

    June 26, 2008 at 3:35 pm

    It’s Soda Popinski from Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!

  15. horvath

    July 3, 2008 at 1:51 am

    The frank drebin comment was by far the funniest thing I have read in a month!!!!!!!!!

  16. ez money

    July 3, 2008 at 11:08 am

    Giambi’s best Magnum PI has is batting average up. It’s not secret real men of genius asked him to do a commercial for 1987 Firebirds with T Tops.

  17. supplies school

    July 24, 2008 at 6:46 pm

    he looks like a porn star now haha!

  18. UK Loans

    July 29, 2008 at 1:52 pm

    I agree he totally looks like an 80’s porn star. Thats a classic mustache..

  19. data security

    July 29, 2008 at 4:20 pm

    this mustache has catapulted the yankees to an 8 game winning streak and only 2 back of the redsox!

  20. tamtam

    September 21, 2008 at 12:38 am

    hes definately someone frank drebin might wanna frisk at homeplate. giambi’s a scary SOB!

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