Sports Hernia Blog

Danica Patrick…


… sure can pull off a mean Miss Piggy impression
… is wearing a live rattlesnake as a belt
… has no idea Forest Whitaker is looking straight down her dress
… is about to say, "Stella, STEL-LA!!!!!!!"
… is seconds away from watching her hair challenge Michelle Tafoya’s space helmet to a ladder match
… rocks a stunning ‘Kate Moss at 5am’ impression
… is a doll
… is wearing Estelle Getty’s dress
… is making Tim Gunn cry
… is waiting for Vincent Ludwig to activate her with his special keychain
… stole Steven Tyler’s face
… thinks she’s in the spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp


  1. Zen Wizard

    July 28, 2008 at 11:18 am

    –is contemplating the injustice of the Academy’s snubbing of Forest Whitaker for his seminal work in “Battlefield Earth.”

  2. PhilBeepo

    July 28, 2008 at 9:16 pm

    … had no choice but to be heavily sedated to get through this gargantuan shitshow.

  3. jnr98

    July 30, 2008 at 11:29 am

    … is preparing to be devoured by Forrest Whitaker
    … is sucking in her chest

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