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Other NFL teams following Chiefs lead
- Updated: July 3, 2008
It didn’t long for the understandable new rule out of Kansas City that calls for "no more standing" during Chiefs home games to inspire several other NFL teams to chime in with their own new provisions, cracking down on the goofy shenanigans from their respective fanbases.
Cowboys – Hats cannot be bigger than 10 gallons and fake cans cannot exceed triple Ds.
Jaguars – The "business" part of your mullet can’t be higher than 4 inches. Also, just stop growing that ratty mustache already.
Redskins – No longer allowed to pull on someone’s pig nose and snap it back in their face.
Jets – Only allowed to stab people in the bathroom during games against the Patriots.
Giants – No more playfully pelting people directly in the face with iceballs or batteries.
Raiders – No more beating and killing other fans in your row.
Texans – Feeding a baby with your drinking helmet now prohibited.
Steelers – Can no longer wring out their jizzrags aka Terrible Towels on opposing fans’ heads.
Cardinals – No more of this "never attending any games" business.
Eagles – No longer permitted to shit on the field.
Browns – No longer allowed to litter the field with thousands of beer bottles during the first quarter.
Lions – No more anally sodomizing Matt Millen dolls. Standard (and quite popular) garbage bag hat still permitted.
Bills – No more throwing your souvenir blankets over people’s heads to give them dutch ovens.
Seahawks – Cannot be more annoying than Matt Hasslebeck (actually, this shouldn’t be a problem).
Patriots – No longer allowed to dress like civilians, drink out of actual wine glasses and carry Sony Mini-DVD Handycams.
Bears – No longer allowed to shoot yourself with a harpoon gun after realizing your QBs are named Grossman, Orton, Nick Hill and some guy named Caleb.
Vikings – See Bears.
Buccaneers- No longer allowed to verbally question Jeff Garcia’s sexuality. Signs still acceptable.
Panthers – Fans no longer allowed to imitate that atrocious Panther growl that plays over the PA system.