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Papelbon, Wow, F**k Off
- Updated: July 15, 2008
Your latest quotes about closing the all-star game are some of the stupidest comments I’ve heard in a long time. Do you know anything about baseball? Do you understand numbers? Did your father educate you in a barn while he was butt-fucking some sheep and your mom was out on a ?date? with cousin Jerry?
Saying you should be the closer over Rivera in this game is ridiculous, your ERA is double Rivera?s (1.03), you have four blown saves, he has blown ZERO, and you have seven walks to Rivera?s four. Now in case you were wondering, in pitching, lower numbers are better, you dumb fuck.
This quote is unreal: "If I was managing the team, I would close," Papelbon said. "I’m not managing the team, so it don’t matter." Well stated. Rivera, whose second language is English, can formulate a more grammatically correct statement than that.
Then, you dumb hick, you go on to talk about last year and how you earned it: "We’ve both earned that right; us, by winning the World Series and having the opportunity of having our manager there and our team being represented, and Mariano by what he’s done for this role, we’re in Yankee Stadium and blah, blah, blah," Papelbon said. "It’s not that easy. Everybody thinks it’s a cut and dry answer, but it’s not."
Hey dickhead, who gives a shit about last year? This is 2008 and the players who were voted to the all-star game are here because of this year?s accomplishments. What planet are you living on? Rivera should close because he has the best numbers as a closer in 2008, you know, the current season, so it actually is pretty fucking cut and dry. And the best option after him is K-Rod, not you.
As for your comment on Yankee stadium, if the game was in Seattle, Rivera should still close because he is the best, period.
The greatest part about this is that right after you made these comments you were were interviewed by a Boston Globe reporter and backtracked on everything you said to save face — well, I call bullshit. Fuck that, you said it, you are a dumb motherfucker and now I can?t wait to hear all the boos you’ll get if you enter the game tonight sporting that gay scowl.
I am so sick of retarded athletes like you saying stupid shit and then immediately going back on what you say, like we are supposed to instantly forgive and forget. Well, fuck that, you are a grownup, be a man and take responsibility for your moronic comments.
So in closing, Papelbon, get fucked you dancing piece of shit, go post a picture of your sack in your butt-buddy Schilling’s blog, ‘ya fag.
Disclaimer: Big Bad Weiss, the mysterious scribe of the FU Corner, hails from parts unknown and his articles are delivered by a headless horseman.