Sports Hernia Blog

Ryan Braun…

… is hopefully sweating out the alcohol after a late night at Flashdancers

… kissed a girl, and he liked it

… kissed a guy, and is scared because he liked it

… is sweating because Pujols, Zambrano and Berkman all farted at the same time

… just found out the size of Prince Fielder’s pants

… is stressin’ hard because he just found out Alyssa Milano ‘knows’ Utley and Uggla too

… accidentally straightened the bill of CC’s hat

… just got a glimpse of Matsui’s porn collection

… just got a glimpse of Tim McCarver’s eyebrows

… has just been charged with 19 counts of child pornography


  1. losloseeboy

    July 16, 2008 at 4:15 pm

    Just gave a long and detailed Power Point presentation to Josh Hamilton on the finer points of Jews for Jesus.

    Hamilton relapsed.

  2. Stonehands

    July 16, 2008 at 4:29 pm

    … just asked Josh Hamilton if his tattoos are a secret treasure map just like Jackson and Iverson’s.

  3. Nick

    July 16, 2008 at 4:41 pm

    it was hot out?

  4. durtymr.clean

    July 16, 2008 at 4:47 pm

    Just found out he was trade to the Royals.

  5. Von Kaiser

    July 16, 2008 at 4:56 pm

    Just found out he chugged Prince Fielder’s new Red Bull & Jizz energy drink

  6. Russianator

    July 16, 2008 at 5:00 pm

    Just got out of bed with George Sherrill after realizing those weren’t pillows

  7. Spawn

    July 16, 2008 at 5:12 pm

    Is unsure and quite concerned as to why he looks like Felix the Cat

  8. smarty

    July 16, 2008 at 5:13 pm

    @Nick: You just blew my mind.

  9. zen wizard

    July 16, 2008 at 6:45 pm

    Someone should tell him you don’t eat those purple things in the Kung Pao Chicken.

  10. ForWhomJayBellTolls

    July 16, 2008 at 7:18 pm

    Got pulled over on the way to the game and had to “eat the stuff”

  11. ForWhomJayBellTolls

    July 16, 2008 at 7:21 pm

    Is having a nervous breakdown, following in the footsteps of his Uncle, Lloyd Braun

  12. ForWhomJayBellTolls

    July 16, 2008 at 7:26 pm

    Just got finished beating his old high score in “Dance Dance Revolution”

  13. ForWhomJayBellTolls

    July 16, 2008 at 7:55 pm

    Just smoked the contents of the briefcase that Edison Volquez handed to Josh Hamilton during the Home Run Derby.

  14. gerrard sir hornypants

    July 17, 2008 at 9:52 am

    …just got cornered by Steve Phillips and COunterpoint Steve Phillips in the mens room

  15. zen wizard

    July 17, 2008 at 10:23 am

    heh, heh: Lloyd Braun!

    Maybe Lloyd Braun brought him a case of Happy Chewy Kitten gum imported from China.

  16. Von Kaiser

    July 17, 2008 at 11:01 am


    “Is having a nervous breakdown, following in the footsteps of his Uncle, Lloyd Braun”


  17. the one

    July 17, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    …sees dead people.

  18. Sara P.

    July 20, 2008 at 12:32 am

    Thanks for the read. You should check out which is a new community for sports fans of both pro and college sports.

  19. the big g

    July 23, 2008 at 11:51 pm

    just left the hospital after his wife gave birth to twins and is covered in their afterbirth

  20. tamtam

    September 21, 2008 at 12:16 am

    …found out the size of sabathia’s hat

  21. tamtam

    October 1, 2008 at 7:46 pm

    …is scared shitless

  22. Yoiselin

    March 12, 2009 at 1:37 pm

    Hola Ryan Braun, tienes una admiradora en Venezuela. ???Que guapo eres!!!!

    Yoisel?n Mejias

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