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Juan Rivera’s sideburns boycott reaching Canseco-like proportions
- Updated: August 1, 2008
Is this really the look you’re going for, Juan? When you go to the team barber or the Coming to America barbershop or wherever it is that you go, do you really say, "Now remember Sammy, no sideburns, I want them eliminated completely, and when you go above the ear, make sure you nail that sweet 45? angle, it’s symmetric with the slope of my nose." Or is it that you go home after your appointment and shave the sideburns off yourself, in some bizarre ritual paying homage to Canseco?
There’s no doubt this is a risky fashion statement and we’re pretty sure no one outside of Mark Gastineau, Canseco, Rick Peterson or Carlos Beltran will ever understand what the hell this look is supposed to be, or how it’s not illegal, but we’re also pretty sure we don’t want it to go away.
Since all these guys despise sideburns so much, perhaps one of them would be brave enough to try the "dead sideburns" look, where an outline of a normal sideburn would be grown, but the center of it would be shaved out, like a sideburn died there.
And yes, that’s BeetleJuice on the far right.