Sports Hernia Blog

Please…

Espn_brett_favre_please_kill_me

… kill me
… end me
… slay me
… boink me
… wash me
… pork me
… jizz on me
… shit on me
… poke me on facebook
… poke me in my dung dispenser
… give me legitimate painkillers, these are crap
… give me a legitimate reason to take painkillers
… take a machete to my beard
… take a rototiller to my nuts
… have a cheesehead sit on my face
… admit I look like an Ewok
… do that thing to my cheeks to make me look like the Joker
… trick me into sleeping in a bathtub filled with cement mix
… do a cannonball on all of Bristol’s satellite dishes
… suffocate me with Tugboat’s gut
… get me a lapdance from Wendy Nix wearing only Packer pasties
… tell Aaron Rodgers that he looks like a QB from the 80s, not the 00s
… throw an interception to my paperboy
… rip this annoying fucking look off my face

8 Comments

  1. Russianator

    August 5, 2008 at 4:13 pm

    Go back to Mississippi, start that dumb tractor you like to ride, and run yourself over with it.

  2. Stonehands

    August 5, 2008 at 5:15 pm

    … stab my tongue with a rusty screwdriver

  3. ForWhomJayBellTolls

    August 5, 2008 at 9:03 pm

    Tie a pair of Wrangler jeans around my neck and engrave “Favre was here” with a knife in the ceiling.

  4. Soy

    August 6, 2008 at 12:30 am

    I didn’t know it was about Favre until I read the comments; I’ve got *favre* as a filter in AdblockPlus.

  5. jnr98

    August 6, 2008 at 11:24 am

    …Keith Hernandez has NOTHING on me
    …remember, I must be referred to as “BrettFavre”, not “Brett” or “Favre”. Only “BrettFavre”. Other exception “Future Hall Of Famer BrettFavre”

  6. Bob Mantz

    August 7, 2008 at 5:53 am

  7. tamtam

    October 19, 2008 at 2:56 am

    …give him a big bowl of fiber, and then send him off to bed. aarp’s orders!

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