The Spectrum: By the Numbers

The Spectrum in Philadelphia, former home to the Flyers and Sixers, will sadly be demolished early next year following the conclusion of the 2008-09 seasons for the Philadelphia Phantoms and Kixx, whoever the fuck they are.  The arena, while sorely outdated compared to it’s present day counterparts, was rich with history, both good and bad, as well as a frequent home to the WWF during it’s heyday with a young Savage and Hogan. 

Some members of the Hernia staff were fortunate to see many different games and events at the Spectrum when it was still relevant, and felt obliged to honor it in a by-the-numbers storytelling fashion:

0 – Numbers of times anyone ever clapped for Bob Thornton

1 – Number of players who didn’t get shit thrown at them during their career as a Sixer (Erving, Julius)

2 – Number of people that ever alerted security that someone was throwing shit on the court/rink

3" – Height of the layer of Velveeta left on the Spectrum’s seats after every Flyers game

4- Number of people that gave a shit when The Warlord, accompanied by Slick, defeated Tito Santana at SummerSlam in 1990

5 – Number of fans crushed to death by Rich Mahorn’s ass while diving for loose balls

6 – Number of times Manute Bol hit his head on the Jumbotron

9 – Number of times Manute Bol tried to dunk the Jumbotron

12  – Number of dead hookers found in the Jumbotron

13" – Average inches of urine on bathroom floor during any given event at the Spectrum

15 – Number of total people who attended a Flyers game sober

22 – Average number of pretzel bits lodged in Kurt Nimphius’ perm by the 3rd quarter

25 – Number of Sixer fans that actually believed Dave Hoppen truly had a knee injury

42 – Number of years ago that this dump should have been demolished

57 – Estimated pounds of scrapple thrown up in parking lot prior to Flyer/Sixer games

73 – Number of injuries caused by errant cheesesteaks

113 – Number of bastards conceived during the second intermission of a Flyers game

115 – Number or children conceived during the second intermission of a Flyers game

1,437 – Number of times Shawn Bradley got rejected by the rim

2,310 – Number of fans who legitimately believed Charles Barkley was the Governor of Philadelphia

16,069 – Number of crazy-ass drug-fueled concerts that went on inside this arena during the late 60s and 70s

17,419 – Number of fans who attended a Sixers-Pistons game for the sole purpose of possibly fighting Bill Laimbeer.

17,419 – Number of those people that looked just like Laimbeer.

28,763- Number of Eagles fans found still passed out in the Spectrum/Vet parking lot from Sunday’s game

50,234 – Number of people who have fought the Rocky statue outside the Spectrum

50,233 – Number of those fights that ended with Rocky winning in the 12th round (Snuffalufagus holds the only triumph)

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