Sports Hernia Blog

Raiders bizarre fanbase still blowing our minds


What’s going on here, did they kill Darth Vader?  We don’t understand this.  Please Raiders fans, be clearer.  To be honest, the "Raiders" have always confused us, like, the actual name/mascot — are they pirates, or just anything that "raids"?

I don’t know, maybe that’s what makes it dangerous.  Gives these fans too much room to interpret.

We imagine the brainstorming session where the Raiders fan council recommended the slaying of Vader went something like this
(translated into modern English for comprehension purposes):

Raider guy with spiked shoulders:  "How about Darth Vader be part of Raider Nation?  He’s black, he raids planets and stuff, even destroys them."

Raider guy with skull mask:  "Yeah, but he’s kind of dorky.  What’s next, Spock?!" (laughter, incredible violence)

Raider guy who is an actual demon:  "Let’s meet half-way.  You can use him, but he must be dead and deflated."

ALL:  "Here here!"