Sports Hernia Blog

Hernia Exclusive: An Interview with Creepy Face Painter guy (seriously)

PhilliesFacePainterAfter putting up our post on Monday night about the fascinating face painter we've been spotting at the Phillies World Series games, we received multiple comments from people claiming to know who this complete lunatic man is.  It turns out, the commenters were right, it is in fact Jim Korman of Korman Residential Suites and Apartments.

So then we figured, why not see if this guy is willing to answer a few questions about his captivating presence behind home plate?  Shockingly, he said yes.  So contrary to our interviews with Barbaro, Jimmy Clausen, and the Patriots bored punter, this interview is actually real:

The Sports Hernia:  Let's get this out of the way right off the bat: Seinfeld fan?
Jim Korman:  Yes, I like Seinfeld.  Even though it had nothing at all to do with my face painting, the clip you sent is maybe the funniest clip I?ve ever seen.  I had actually forgotten about it.  It is priceless.

TSH:  And this one too: Ultimate Warrior or Sting?
JK:  I don?t know Ultimate Warrior or Sting.  My wrestling knowledge gets sketchy after Andre the Giant, Jimmy ?Superfly? Snuka, Haystacks Calhoun, and Frank The Animal Steele.  Sorry.
(Hernia note: 
It's actually George "The Animal" Steele, not Frank, but Haystacks Calhoun?  Holy turnbuckle-tits!  He totally redeemed himself with that one.)

TSH:  It's been said you just started doing this painting ritual.  What made you start doing it for the World Series games?
JK:  I actually decided to go with the ?War Paint? because these games are different than all the others I attend during the season.  It just didn?t feel right heading to the ballpark as if it was ?just another game.?  It?s not.  I had to do SOMETHING big to recognize the enormous importance of our Phillies ending this drought!

TSH:  Are you trying to scare us with the paint/sunglasses combo?  You look
like Sylvester Stallone in Cobra if he suddenly decided to embrace Satan.

JK:  The sunglasses are a necessity.  The paint instructions say to keep paint ?away from eyes.?  If you think I look ridiculous with the shades on you should see me with big white unpainted circles around my eyes without them? Now that looked stupid!!!

TSH:  Are those seats your season tickets?  If so, can you buy us a similar set for the new Yankee Stadium and Citi Field?  The Hernia staff would really appreciate it.
I split the season tickets with three friends.
(Hernia note: Still waiting on the other half of that question, but let's assume he's on Ticketmaster at this very moment.)

TSH:  Being in real estate, are you concerned that celebratory riots will consume the city following a Phillies win?
JK:  Oh, it's inevitable which is why I've set up a team of people to direct the looters and rioters to the buildings I don't own.  Pretty smart, right?  (Jim did NOT actually say this, we made that one up.)

TSH:  Bigger ladies man, Mr. Met or Philly Phanatic?
JK:  Philly Phanatic of course.  I don?t care for anything related to the New York ?Mess?.
(Hernia note: Mr. Met is rumored to be gay or dead anyway.)

TSH:  Do you plan on doing this for the Eagles or Sixers?  We kinda wish Bob Thornton and Kurt Nimphius would've painted their faces during their heyday as Sixers, fans might have actually cheered for them.
JK:  I have no plans to paint my face again (unless the Phils are back in the ?Fall Classic? again next year — and only if we win tonight).  Thunder Bob Thornton was the man!  I cheered very, very loudly when Thunder Bob entered the Sixer?s games.  Kurt Nimphius was too soft!


+ 5,000,000 points to Jim for knowing who those two Sixer legends were. 

And we'd also like to thank Jim for playing along instead of emailing us back a picture of a middle finger.

He'll be at the game tonight, so look out for this calm, cool and collected paint splotch of fandom.