Sports Hernia Blog

Joe Sports Fan is in the building

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As If Women Gymnastics Weren’t Creepy Enough…

By Matt Sebek 

Sports Illustrated is currently running a photo of Olympic gold-medalist, Shawn Johnson, which seemingly highlights her Iowa roots.

If you’re anything like me, you may be wondering…what’s creepier than featuring a 16 year old girl tip-toeing across a balance beam above dead corn stalks?

Well – here’s your answer.  Take focus to the bottom left-hand corner of the photo and notice the ominous hand emerging from below.  No, that’s not photoshopped…and yea, it’s more than a little strange.

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We couldn’t help but wonder…whose hand is it?  Who would have the motive?  We observe the possibilities…

Bela Karoyli – Former United States Gymnastics Coach, Recent YouTube celebrity

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No harm or ill-intent coming from Bela.  Bela feverishly deems it necessary to give his girls a spot whenever they get up on that bar, even if it’s just a photoshoot.  Truth be told, he’s probably just hiding from Bob Costas.

***

He Kexin – Chinese gymnast

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Looking for dropped passport which reveals she’s actually 9 years old.

***

Valeri Luikin – Father and Coach of Gold Medalist, Nastia Liukin

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Still angry about his daughter taking silver to Johnson on the balance beam in China.  Looking to grab ankles on the dismount.

***

Tim Daggett – Former Olympic gold-medalist, current NBC Gymnastic Commentator

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Due to legal constraints, Tim isn’t allowed within 150 feet of the balance beam during competitive matches.  As Tim will gladly tell you, this is *not* an official competition, and he can take his camera with a telescopic lens where ever he pleases.

***

Ray Kinsella – "Field of Dreams"

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Stumbled upon the gymnastic apparatus after his daily marijuana-induced stroll through the cornfield looking for Ray Liotta, and "that black guy that sounds like Darth Vader".

***

As we mentioned last week, the greatness of our cyber homeboys Joe Sports Fan will be celebrated here each and every Wednesday, and vice versa over there.  If you’ve already been there and read the post we’re featuring, we insist you stop complaining and implore you to feast on it.

JSF’s debut on the Hernia

9 Comments

  1. Marv

    October 1, 2008 at 3:41 pm

    Wow, that is creepy.
    Children of the Corn!

  2. Von Kaiser

    October 1, 2008 at 4:11 pm

    It looks like one of those crappy mannequin arms at Macy’s.

  3. Jason

    October 1, 2008 at 4:16 pm

    Man, that Tim Daggett is a weirdo.

  4. Von Kaiser

    October 1, 2008 at 4:22 pm

    He really is, he needs to party with Scott Hamilton.

  5. tamtam

    October 1, 2008 at 7:19 pm

    that picture of he kexin is creepier then the one of shawn johnson and the disembodied hand

  6. Dagget fear

    October 1, 2008 at 7:51 pm

    Tim Dagget will haunt me until the day Al Davis kills me.

    That is all.

  7. TBone

    October 1, 2008 at 7:56 pm

    @tamtam:

    Is He Kexin about to give the Degeneration X ‘Suck It’ sign?

  8. Gooch Runner

    October 1, 2008 at 9:08 pm

    I spit chewed chocolate chip cookies all over my screen when reading the ray kinsella stab. Thank you, I can think of no greater way of expelling something from my body ruining my computer hardware, pornography included.

  9. tamtam

    October 6, 2008 at 3:33 pm

    @ tbone

    yeah, i think so

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