Sports Hernia Blog

Joe Sports Fan Presents… Week 7 Denouement: Terrell Owens’ Boogers

Joe_sports_fan_logo_phixr_2_2By Patrick Imig

De?noue?ment [dey-noo-mahn] -noun

1. the final resolution of the intricacies of a plot, as of a drama
2. the conclusion; the end
3. searching for gold in T.O.’s nasal cavity

Historically awesome Broncos secondary still historically awful

One month ago, I wrote of the Broncos’ defensive woes, particularly in the secondary. It was a most bold move because the season was only three games old and Denver’s corners were ordained as a dominant defense upon the arrival of Dre Bly two seasons ago. … Okay, it wasn’t really bold at all, because the pass defense ranked dead last in the league.

Four games later, Denver is embarrassingly bad. After suffering a 41-7 beating in Foxborough in which Matt Cassell passed for three scores and posted a 136 passer rating, it’s clear that if you’re a quarterback in need of a Pro Bowl caliber game, call on Denver. Here’s how each quarterback has fared against Denver this season, via passer rating. I agree passer rating is a stupid measurement based on how it’s computed, but it 
still tells us something.

Drebly_5Week 7.Matt Cassel – 136.3

Week 6. David Garrard – 107

Week 5. Jeff Garcia – 83.7

Week 4. Damon Huard – 100.3

Week 3. Drew Brees – 110.2

Week 2. Philip Rivers – 120.4

Week 1. JaMarcus Russell – 111.1

Shockingly, the Broncos are no longer dead last in pass defense, that slot belongs to the San Diego Chargers. Somehow the Lions are second to last.

Matthew Berry rates Owens’ boogers as one-week-sleeper

Owensnosepick_5

"And if you make fun of them*lipcurl…wimper*, it’s really unfair *sniff…wimper…cry*. That’s my boogers*cry*cry*sniff*….Those are my boogies*wimper*sniff*cry…"

Insider Trading proves the NFL doesn’t know its head from its bum

Regarding this whole Favre saga, how is it that giving away tips and what-have-yous is not illegal by NFL standards, but the Patriots videotaping opponents is the devil’s work? There seems to be some inconsistencies here. Aside from the fact that it proves Favre is more concerned with his own agendas than his current team, I have hard time understanding how spending one hour on the phone with the Lions is fair game. Granted, the Lions should get three to four hours of underground info a week to make for a compelling contest, but the point remains.

League Owners discuss moving Super Bowl to MLB All Star Game Weekend

Last week, the NFL owners met to discuss moving to an 18 game schedule. The season would still begin the weekend after Labor Day, but it would (thankfully) eliminate two preseason games, giving teams two weeks of after preseason games to get ready for Week 1. The addition of two regular season games would push the Super Bowl to the 3rd week of February, with the hope of somehow playing the Pro Bowl the 2nd weekend in February, between the conference title games and Super Bowl. And of course, what would the NFL be without the addition of spring games!?!?!?! Overkill, thy name is NFL.

The Los Angeles Rams want you to RAM IT! (video starts at 12 seconds)

RAM IT ALL NIGHT!!!

***

Past greatness seen right here each week from the former wrestlers turned Irwin R. Schyters’s turned bloggers at Joe Sports Fan:

JSF Presents: Brett Favre’s Green Bay Home Now For Sale
JSF Presents: Wait A Minute, That’s Not St. Louis…
JSF Presents: If Women Gymnastics Weren’t Creepy Enough…
JSF Presents: Don’t Be A Victim Of FMI…

5 Comments

  1. tamtam

    October 22, 2008 at 4:58 pm

    just exactly HOW old is that ‘ram-it’ video?

  2. Stonehands

    October 23, 2008 at 9:23 am

    Old enough to see those jerseys and wonder what the hell ever happened.

  3. tamtam

    October 27, 2008 at 7:33 pm

    @ stonehands: good point, given that the ‘ram-it’ video is likely older then i am

  4. Stonehands

    October 27, 2008 at 9:47 pm

    @tamtam: Were you old enough to enjoy the Bears Super Bowl shuffle?

  5. tamtam

    October 29, 2008 at 2:27 pm

    @ stonehands: no :(

    but then again, thats what the internet is for :)

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