Sports Hernia Blog

Happy New Year from the Hernia & the very festive Barber Brothers

Barber-twins-early-xmas-wishes_phixr

– We wish Kelly Tripucka a head coaching job, or a chest coaching job, basically any job in which he could control hair.

– We really wish we called Barkley a cab.

– We wish for Rasheed Wallace to be mic'd up for every game.  NBA Action – it's Faaaantastic.

– We wish for a live conversation between Mike Singletary and Gary Busey.

– We wish for the wonderful Benjamin Button and Forrest Gump to snag the tag team belts at next month's WWE pay-per view.

– We wish the Barber brothers would be kind enough to wear matching overalls when they visit Santa next year.

– We wish for another fun Mexico trip for Tony Romo and Jason Whitten.  Or just another fun night in their T.O.-less tree house.

– We wish Gilbert Arenas a healthy New Year or his own talk show.  One or the other.

– We wish the Sports Guy wouldn't write his articles in SSOL.

– We wish Michael Phelps a second mother or a third sister – it's too much work for those ladies

– We wish A-Rod a wonderful dance party later tonight and cross our fingers in hopes the happy fella wears a scarf during games next year.

– We wish Phil Mickelson's cleavage another banner campaign in '09 and offer up a healthy wink and a sexy whistle at those badboys.

– We wish Barry Bonds a glorious and healthy return to baseball, or five years in jail.

– We wish Frank Deford a starring role in any Dracula movie or at least to finally suck our blood.

– We also wish A-Rod the love of another aging star who can dance well: Cloris Leachman.

– We wish Tiger a speedy recovery and a receding hairline (we're already one for two on that!).

– We wish for Michael Buffer to finally become the Wiz.

– We wish for Tony Romo to get some rest in his Snuggie blanket

– We wish  continued fortune Jay Glazer's excellent facial hair.

– We wish for Ladanian Tomlinson to wear Dirty Danglers as earrings.

– We also wish them for every Nascar driver, especially Jean Girard.

– We wish for the waxy Ric Bucher to be accompanied by his very own Mini Me.

– We wish for the rarely crazy Phil Mushnick to guest referee the Mike Francesa/Chris Russo tickle fight in Las Vegas this coming Spring.

– We wish Jon Kruk's hair a new head to rest upon.

– We wish Peter King a barista with the dimples of Brady, the poise of Peyton, the wherewithal of Eli, the humility of Andy Reid, the reason of Tiki and the courage of Brett Favre.

– We wish for the Detroit Lions to honor their glory days by retiring Joey Harrington's jersey.

– We wish for something, anything to happen in hockey.

2 Comments

  1. tamtam

    December 31, 2008 at 9:16 pm

    we wish chicago’s ozzie guillen his own sirius satellite radio show. that way, he can say EVERYTHING thats on his mind and not get thrown into ‘sensitivity training’ like what happened after the mariotti incident

  2. Soy

    January 1, 2009 at 8:14 pm

    – I wish for a John Rocker Subway Adventures game for the Wii.

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