- Five Thirty Eight Sets Internet Ablaze With Shocking Report
- Johnny Football’s Money Sign Becomes Latest NFL Star to Retire Early
- Learn The Ins & Outs Of Beer Can Chicken From Clyde McFly
- LeBron’s Wild Hairline Fits Larry O’Brien Trophy … and a Chew Toy
- “Danny Farts Ball” Video Has 500K Views
- The Boston Globe Has Officially Stopped Giving A Shit
- Detroit Lions Take Sucking to An All New Level
- Sepp Blatter Resigns, Vince McMahon Rumored as Replacement
- Family Guy Called the Bruce Jenner “Situation” Quite Some Time Ago; Twice
- T.J. Miller Wins Hernia Immunity For 25 Years
Happy New Year from the Hernia & the very festive Barber Brothers
- Updated: December 31, 2008
– We wish Kelly Tripucka a head coaching job, or a chest coaching job, basically any job in which he could control hair.
– We really wish we called Barkley a cab.
– We wish for Rasheed Wallace to be mic'd up for every game. NBA Action – it's Faaaantastic.
– We wish for a live conversation between Mike Singletary and Gary Busey.
– We wish for the wonderful Benjamin Button and Forrest Gump to snag the tag team belts at next month's WWE pay-per view.
– We wish the Barber brothers would be kind enough to wear matching overalls when they visit Santa next year.
– We wish for another fun Mexico trip for Tony Romo and Jason Whitten. Or just another fun night in their T.O.-less tree house.
– We wish Gilbert Arenas a healthy New Year or his own talk show. One or the other.
– We wish Michael Phelps a second mother or a third sister – it's too much work for those ladies
– We wish A-Rod a wonderful dance party later tonight and cross our fingers in hopes the happy fella wears a scarf during games next year.
– We wish Phil Mickelson's cleavage another banner campaign in '09 and offer up a healthy wink and a sexy whistle at those badboys.
– We wish Barry Bonds a glorious and healthy return to baseball, or five years in jail.
– We wish Frank Deford a starring role in any Dracula movie or at least to finally suck our blood.
– We also wish A-Rod the love of another aging star who can dance well: Cloris Leachman.
– We wish Tiger a speedy recovery and a receding hairline (we're already one for two on that!).
– We wish for Michael Buffer to finally become the Wiz.
– We wish for Tony Romo to get some rest in his Snuggie blanket.
– We wish continued fortune Jay Glazer's excellent facial hair.
– We wish for Ladanian Tomlinson to wear Dirty Danglers as earrings.
– We also wish them for every Nascar driver, especially Jean Girard.
– We wish for the rarely crazy Phil Mushnick to guest referee the Mike Francesa/Chris Russo tickle fight in Las Vegas this coming Spring.
– We wish Jon Kruk's hair a new head to rest upon.
– We wish Peter King a barista with the dimples of Brady, the poise of Peyton, the wherewithal of Eli, the humility of Andy Reid, the reason of Tiki and the courage of Brett Favre.
– We wish for the Detroit Lions to honor their glory days by retiring Joey Harrington's jersey.
– We wish for something, anything to happen in hockey.