Sports Hernia Blog

Make sure you read up on the Super Bowl this week


Although we already reached our fill of Super Bowl articles early this morning, by no means are we implying it wasn't a thrilling, deeply rewarding experience.  Thing is, we were just afraid of getting too excited about the game, so we cut the cord quick. 

But the two snippets below from the New York Post were enough to set off a memorable five-high feast in the line earlier at Dunkin Donuts.  And no, we didn't write the following two lines to mock cheesy, overly dramatic sportswriters.  They did it for us.

Steve Serby on Troy Polamalu:

"He's a ball- hawking vulture with rare speed and range.  A heat- seeking missile with flowing black hair."
That second part was lifted from a Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka documentary.

Paul Schwartz on Kurt Warner:

"He leads them with his right arm and his unwavering faith."
Spine-tingling.  Cue the John Adams theme song.

Yup, that about does it for us. 

Expect to be hit over the head steel-chair-style by the following storylines for the rest of the week.


  • Kurt Warner, will he hang it up and sign with God, or he will cash in on his pending free agency?
  • Ben Roethlisberger, all the way back from Excitebike.
  • The wonderful Rooney Family seeks their 6th Lombardi Trophy.
  • Larry Fitzgerald: A breath of fresh air to an otherwise foul position.
  • Troy Polamalu, the greatest safety since the days of Ed Reed.
  • Ken Whisenhunt: Learned under Bill Cowher, but they chose Mike Tomlin. Now, they meet!
  • Santonio Holmes, this year's Randle El?
  • Cardinals using lack of respect as motivation!
  • Who will Cowher root for, or will he wear one of those split jerseys like Brady Quinn's sister?
  • Edgerrin James and his timely ressurgance.  But where did his gold teeth go?
  • Steel Curtain or this year?s suffocating defense? A dong-by-dong comparison.
  • Hey, the Cards have fans too, ya know.
  • Hines Ward: Great receiver or dirty egghead?
  • From Timm Rosenbach and jumpin? Bill Gramatica to the Super Bowl: The surprising emergence of the previously pathetic Arizona Cardinals.


  1. How do you spell retard?

    January 27, 2009 at 2:17 am

    “Larry Fitzgerald: A breath of fresh air to an otherwise foul position”

    Remember when Chad Johnson was ‘that receiver that has fun out there but doesn’t disrupt the team’?
    Or before Marvin Harrison started busting caps in people’s asses?
    /all WRs are assholes

  2. How do you spell retard?

    January 27, 2009 at 2:19 am

    MY EYES!!!!
    Laura Quinn and A.J. Hawk…
    Ugliest. Offspring. Ever.

  3. Stonehands

    January 27, 2009 at 10:41 am

    Screw that, Cowher should show up to NBC’s panel in Sgt. Slaughter’s trunks.

  4. Balls of Glory

    January 27, 2009 at 10:46 am

    Chad Johnson needs to lend Edgerrin his gold teeth.

  5. Pepe' Le Pew

    January 27, 2009 at 10:53 am


    Mike Tomlin is young. And he’s in shape too!

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