Sports Hernia Blog

Bobcats take heat off Mets’ patch controversy with new NASCAR jammies


After spotting the latest road jerseys worn by the Charlotte Cheetahs and promptly vomiting, the always fair Hernia mole did his due diligence and arranged a focus group panel centered around the embarrassing unis, as he tends to hate everything anyway. 

Here's a look at how he netted out:

Jessica Tuckerson: "The Bobcats, are they that team that just lost 100-0?"

Whitlock Morganfrost: "Looks like they stole sheets from a 5-year old's race car bed.  Translation: I like it."

Jason Finkelberry: "Clearly Jordan lost another bet to Marvin the Martian from Space Jam."

Al Fundies: "Wasn't that jersey a free giveaway at Sonic?"

Samantha Supplenips: "I boned me a Bobcat."

Bertha Porkfellow: "Them black and white squares remind me of that Othella game."

Skip Thornwall: "If the reason they are checkered is because NASCAR is king in Charlotte, then they are insane.  What the fuck."

Vern Fundquist:  "This is Flair country, Skip, fuck NASCAR."

Barney Coopersmith: "Well, they ain't the Fryberg Turtles."

Al Czervik: "Oh! You buy a uniform like this you get a free bowl of soup!"

Louis Lewis: "I'll trade you for a Joe Pepitone jersey."

Will Smith: "If you wear those in the park, old dudes will wind up playing chess on you."

Nadine Cherry: "I used to wear those in my first job."

William Walton: "It doesn't even matter what they're wearing, look at how they
plaaaay the game. This isn't NBA basketball, they're terrrrrrrrrible."


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