Sports Hernia Blog

F.U. Corner: Idiots who consider golf a sport

6a00d83451b84f69e2010535cbede0970c-piHey, all you jackasses that think golf is a sport, FUCK YOU!

So, the great Eldrick Tont "Tiger" Woods has come back from knee surgery and with April approaching, we are being treated to promos for the golfing war hero's upcoming appearance at the Masters.  Yay.  Yippie. 

It's as though this is the biggest news since the Super Bowl, only one problem, he doesn?t play a sport, he has simply honed a particular skill that has netted him hundreds of millions of dollars.  Good for Tiger.  Kudos.  We wish his courageous fucking knee well.

But for all you fucknuts who think golf is a sport, you are fucking idiots, plain and simple.  I play golf (sure I use femur bones as clubs and frozen heads for golf balls), but still, I play.  It's a fun hobby that gets you outside for a few hours, but a sport?  I don?t think so.  Let?s look at the facts.

Craig Stadler and John Daly are not only professional golfers, they both have won multiple tournaments and grand slam tournaments.  Now, without calling them fat fucks, we can all safely say the word "athlete" doesn?t come to mind when their names are mentioned.

John-Daly-Craig-Stadler-FUJohn Daly once said he was so drunk when he won the U.S. Open, he barely remembers it.  Are you kidding me?  Have you ever heard a professional football player say, ?Man, I was so hammered on Sunday, I barely remember rushing for 175 yards??  Any activity where you can pound 10 beers during a round is not a sport.  (I'm looking at all you bowlers as well?)

Then there are those fucks that say, "Well, they have to walk the course and that can be exhausting in the heat."  Really, the average golfer walks five miles during 18 holes?  Wow, five fucking miles in four and a half hours, what an accomplishment! 

If you have a tough time walking a little more than a mile an hour, then you should wheel yourself to the post office, purchase the ?I am a fucking sad human being? commemorative stamp, stick it on your forehead and just mail it in, fatty, because you are a pathetic sack of shit.

Then there will be some of you over-privileged shitbags who will argue that Tiger and some of the young guys hit the gym and are in top physical shape.  Sure, that may be true, but that doesn?t mean golf is a sport.  You can put lipstick on a piece of shit, but it's still a piece of shit.

So, all you ding dongs out there who consider themselves ?weekend warriors? because you play the sport of golf every weekend, get fucked.  You're enjoying an activity that let?s you have some beers with your friends for a few hours, so put that in your golf cart and smoke it. 

Oh right, you use a motorized vehicle because you can?t even walk the course you sad sacks of puke. You are PATHETIC, so fuck off with your ?golf is a sport? shit.

35 Comments

  1. BobsBlitz.com

    March 26, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    Tiger’s courage is unparalleled. That ability to walk again is stunning.

    We hear, praise be to god, he might even jog again.

    We’d be willing to bet Tiger is not thrilled with the upcoming PGA drug testing policy either.

  2. TheSportsHernia

    March 27, 2009 at 12:17 pm

    Frolf has to be in there somewhere too.

  3. drewski2u

    March 27, 2009 at 3:26 pm

    Hey, all you jackasses that think Weiss is not retarded, FUCK YOU!

    His argument? That a sport with out-of-shape athletes isn’t truly a sport. Not very sound logic, even for a dipshit. If that were the case, then let’s add to the list of non-sports…….

    1.) Baseball – Big Papi’s fat ass should be argument enough, but let’s add the scores of short, fat pitchers to that list. Plus, what was John Kruk’s excuse…..

    2.) Football – Lineman…. need I say more? If so, see: photo of Andre Smith. Plus, at least golf requires a great combination of talent and skill. Being a lineman? All you have to do is stand in the way of other players, and then spend an awful lot of time standing around with your hands on your hips……

  4. Flanders

    March 27, 2009 at 3:33 pm

    Actually, fattys aside, he pointed out that golf is a skill. You know, like ball tricks.

  5. Shane McMayonnaise

    March 27, 2009 at 3:36 pm

    Drewski clearly made this comment from his iPhone while on the 16th at Bethpage. Something you just can’t afford to do when you’re pancaking the shit out of a 250lb. linebacker.

  6. tamtam

    March 27, 2009 at 6:59 pm

    if its boring to watch, than its not a sport. that said, golf is VERY boring to watch.

  7. Manchester United

    March 28, 2009 at 5:54 am

    Excellent information. This sounds exactly like what I’ve been looking for.

  8. Football Gifts

    March 28, 2009 at 6:04 am

    Nice Blog. Keep posting more

    Regards

  9. JSpicoli

    March 28, 2009 at 3:15 pm

    You are so right. The past 10 years have seen a lot of idiocy, but not much idiocy as bad as Golf somehow graduating to a “Sport”. When you can’t pull a muscle playing a game, it is not a sport.

  10. Chris

    March 29, 2009 at 5:39 pm

    Jealous pussies. Anyone who thinks that golf isn’t a sport is angry because they suck at it. I can’t stand eldrick or the way the cockslobbing moron commentators are so quick to cover their chins with his pubes…however, jackasses, here’s a little Webster’s for you:

    Main Entry:
    sport
    Function:
    noun
    Date:
    15th century

    1 a: a source of diversion : recreation b: sexual play c (1): physical activity engaged in for pleasure (2): a particular activity (as an athletic game) so engaged in

    Ergo, Golf IS a sport.

    So fuck you, your ineptitude, and your ignorance.

  11. PrettyBoy

    March 29, 2009 at 9:36 pm

    I agree….. Golf is not a sport….. Actually, it’s a nice hobby that gives me a rest from the real sport I participate in. Professional Basketball in Europe…

  12. veloracer

    March 30, 2009 at 1:13 pm

    FUCK Webster. Look at Daley choking down a smoke WHILE golfing. No athlete should be doing that. Golf is not a sport it’s an activity. It’s retarded to classify these guys as athletes.

    pffffffffft on golf as a sport.

  13. Phil M

    March 30, 2009 at 6:52 pm

    If Tiger was found to have taken steroids…would that perhaps make it closer to being a sport?

  14. DRAKILLYA

    March 30, 2009 at 8:26 pm

    LET ME GUESS…YOU “PLAY” GOLF, DON’T YOU…
    LIGHTEN UP, UNLESS OF COURSE YOU’RE A FAT SLOB LIKE THE AFOREMENTIONED GENTS
    AND ARE UNCAPABLE OF “LIGHTENING UP” …

    CHEERS!

  15. Chris

    March 30, 2009 at 8:58 pm

    Hey bitch, I don’t know how old you are, but back in the day, there was a man named John Riggins who played for the Redskins. COMPLETE badass back who smoked cigarettes on the sidelines…and certainly not the only one. Choke on that, and my dick while you’re at it. Once again, sorry that you suck and that you’re an ignorant tool.

  16. veloracer

    March 30, 2009 at 9:34 pm

    LOL — nice one dickhead or pussy because I can’t tell if your a woman or a man with a name like Chris or should it be Chrissy. I must assume that you are a fat slob that smokes too. I don’t give a fuck if John Riggins smoked either, the point is, and lets stick to the topic dickhead, golf is NOT a sport, ergo, they are not athletes. Just because you can’t hack that your game is not a sport doesn’t mean everyone else is ignorant — now go suck on John Daleys cock — I’m sure it taste like a bacon ashtray.

    enjoy

  17. Chris

    March 30, 2009 at 9:55 pm

    Let’s see…you can’t spell, you are grammatically challenged, and I’d bet that there isn’t an ounce of athleticism in the most likely pathetic bag of shit you call a body. Good luck with all that. By the way, have you ever heard of a non sequitor? You argue a fallacy. I’m done with you, little one. Sorry that you will ALWAYS be in the MINORITY that doesn’t accord golf “sport” status. There is nothing you can do or say that will change that. Tough shit? Chew harder.

  18. veloracer

    March 30, 2009 at 10:28 pm

    Ummmm. . .looks like your the one that can’t spell Chrissy, it’s spelt – non sequitur.

    Now go brush up on your retarded game of golf and quit wasting bandwith you FUCKTARD!

    enjoy

  19. Atilla

    March 31, 2009 at 7:49 am

    “They should pave over all those course and put low income housing there instead” – George Carlin.

  20. drewski2u

    March 31, 2009 at 12:12 pm

    Well there are some arguments here as to why golf isn’t a sport. Unfortunately, none of them are very compelling. For instance:

    Golf is boring to watch, thus it is not a sport…..
    9 million viewers watching Tiger win this sunday would disagree with you. That earned NBC a third ranking in the ratings and this wasn’t even a major. Plus it is not unusual to have 30,000 or more spectators at these events. There are many MLB teams that would give their steroid shriveled left nuts to have those numbers. Anyone that happened to catch the FBR Open saw all the people and what a circus that was. And that was in Scottsdale, ON SUPER BOWL SUNDAY! If you don’t like golf (or suck at it) then you probably think it’s boring to watch. There are many people that feel the same way about baseball (1-0 games?), football (6-3 games? Pure excitement!), NBA basketball, etc.

    You can’t pull a muscle playing golf, thus it is not a sport….
    Hmmm, not sure what hole your head has been in (other than your ass), but Tiger just came back from 9 months off due to ACL replacement surgery. True, it was while running that he suffered the final injury that broke the camel’s back, but the torque he generates from his lower body has caused him to suffer through knee problems since around 2002. He’s had that knee cleaned out multiple times before this most recent surgery. As for pulling a muscle. It’s actually very easy to pull a muscle when swinging like the pros. Most common are back muscles. Add to that the torn rotator cuffs, stress fractures in the wrists, etc. Peter Jacobsen has had both his knee and hip replaced. I personally know two people who have ruptured their achilles while playing golf….

    You can play golf under the influence, so it can’t be a sport…..
    Former Pirates pitcher Dock Ellis threw a no-hitter in 1970 while high on acid. FUCKING LSD MAN! Anyone that’s ever dropped understands how amazing this is. Amazing that he got even one out, let alone a no-hitter. And you’re telling me Ricky Williams was never blazed during a game? He’s a mega, chronic bong-banger, so that is highly doubtful. Sometimes Sam Perkins was so blazed during a game I’ll bet he didn’t even know what state he was in, let alone what city. Add Chris Webber to that list. And do I even need to mention Daryl “My nose is a wonderful winter wonderland” Strawberry?

    My point is of course these are all sports, and in every sport there is an exception to the rule. Using John Daly as that exception to argue that golf is not a sport is weak at best. As are the rest of these arguments. And I agree with Chris, the reason for most of the haters out their is because they suck at golf. At least there’s always the Wii…….

  21. fee

    March 31, 2009 at 4:46 pm

    don’t forget about the great bambino… babe ruth was known to shove hot dogs down his throat and smoke cigars between innings. he was also a bit of a fat ass.

  22. drewski2u

    March 31, 2009 at 6:27 pm

    Yep. I also forgot about David Wells. Hung WAY the fuck over when he pitched his perfect game in ’98.

  23. Bumrumdum

    April 1, 2009 at 12:05 pm

    By the way, there have also been football (soccer) players that have been known to smoke a pack of cigarettes a day. Robert Prosinecki, at one time a top talent in Europe, was one such player. Punks.

    And Babe Ruth was a drunk.

  24. satan@hell.com

    April 1, 2009 at 1:34 pm

    Max McGee, thinking he wouldn’t play, got lit up the night before Super Bowl I and strolled in around 5am. Before the game, he told the starting WR “I hope you don’t get hurt. I’m not in very good shape,” alluding to his hangover. During the game, the starting WR went down and McGee went in. “McGee made a one-handed reception of a pass from Bart Starr, took off past Chiefs defender Fred Williamson and ran 37 yards to score the first touchdown in Super Bowl history. By the end of the game, McGee had recorded seven receptions for 138 yards and two touchdowns, assisting Green Bay to a 35-10 victory.” [wikipedia]

  25. steelfan39

    April 27, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    Golf is not a sport there arguments against that are weak, you are pulling up exceptions from other sports like baseball and football. Baseball is barely a sport, but look at how much of a leg up it has on golf. Pitching 85 – 100 pitches a game is many more pitches than any golfer will take a swing at a ball during a round of golf and is a much more volatile movement. Batting is really the same thing as a golf swing but your SWINGING AT SOMETHING MOVING AT 85 – 100 MPH NOT SOMETHING THAT IS SITTING STATIONARY ON A TEE FUCKHEADS! THEN AFTER THEY HIT IT THEY SPRINT TO THE BASE, NOT WALKING OR HITCHING A RIDE.
    They argument comparing football linemen is fucking stupid and laughable. Lineman work about as hard on 1 play with footwork and pushing during a pass block or pulling a sprinting down the field to block lineman than golfers do all day long.

    Those who argue, “golf is not a sport because you suck at it” are dumb. Nobody grows up wanting to be a golf star they only do it when they can’t make the football team or the soccer team making it a sport filled with nonathletic losers. If golf is a sport so is bocce-ball, bowling, beer pong, and walking the dog

  26. YoDaddy

    May 9, 2009 at 8:01 pm

    Please take a course in English, and then a course in Logic. By the way, sorry you suck at golf, fucktard.

  27. The Man

    June 10, 2009 at 12:02 pm

    Sorry you’re an uncoordinated cunt. “fuck webster”? Pffffffffffft…dumbass…

  28. mike

    July 17, 2009 at 6:51 pm

    wow, lots of great logic in these comments…

  29. steelfan39

    July 20, 2009 at 10:36 pm

    Ive taken English class i didn’t expect to be critiqued on my grammar dick i didn’t exactly feel like wasting my time rereading for spelling errors, I don’t need a course in logic YoDaddy you fucking hoodrat. I don’t suck at golf I choose not to do it most of the time because its boring as fuck. People under the age of 65 should not be golfing. I cant wait until golf courses around the world are paved over and golf is a forgotten hobby of rich people with nothing better to do who are too big of pussies to compete in real sports with real athletes and not their sewing circle or yachting club.

  30. golf balls

    July 27, 2009 at 3:31 pm

    mike,
    golf is a sport period

  31. HoodRat

    August 9, 2009 at 9:01 pm

    Wow, sorry that you’re not only logically and grammatically challenged, but seemingly non-athletic and indigent as well! My condolences, poor boy. You are not only incorrect, but wrong! Good luck running the universe, stud. It’s obviously your destiny.

  32. Myrtle beach golf

    September 13, 2009 at 1:28 am

    Golf is good only for those who knows how to play this game, and only player enjoy such games like Moto sports.

  33. steelfan39

    November 30, 2009 at 4:13 pm

    gooooooolffffffff issssssss nooooooootttttttt aaaaa ssssspppppppooooooorrrrttttt! the first step is to admit it to yourself. If this doesnt work you need to get help. There are support groups set up all across the country

  34. Electric Golf Trolley Batteries

    December 30, 2009 at 12:18 pm

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    April 26, 2011 at 3:48 am

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