Sports Hernia Blog

Closing the season strong with the Kings and Vlade Divac

Vlade Divac retired jersey
Last night the downtrodden Sacramento Kings retired the jersey of legendary flopping hairball, Vlade Divac. 

While admittedly being quite stunned after initially learning of this, it didn't take us long to join in on the wild celebration once we digested his portly career averages of 11.6 points and 7.9 rebounds during his time as a King.

That's right, we're talkin' something like four field goals and three foul shots a night!  Blistering stuff indeed.

So in the spirit of closing out a season in Sacramento that we'll all surely remember, we've come up with a few celebrations and giveaways to piggyback on all this Vlade fun:

4/5 – Free Scott Pollard samurai sword and beer night.

4/7 – Lawrence Funderburke's jersey retirement.  Come early to watch invisible highlight reel on the jumbotron.

4/8 – Retirement ceremony for Wayman Tisdale's mythical jazz-funk bass guitar.

4/9 – A night of celebration with Rick Adelman.  Take in all the highlights from the 2002 playoff series against the Lakers.  First 10 people to kill themselves get a complimentary Kings casket.

4/10 – Please put money in this hat night.

4/12 – Free gold-plated nail clipper engraved with Mike Bibby's initials for the first 5 people dumb enough to get there early.

4/13 – Vlade Flip-Flop giveaway.

4/14 – No game scheduled.  Just come to the arena and we'll retire something.

4/15 – Again, no game scheduled.  Just come to the arena and we'll watch Vlade's old Schick commercial.


  1. tamtam

    April 1, 2009 at 5:06 pm

    will the kings be retiring peja’s number next?

  2. Upsko

    April 3, 2009 at 2:47 pm

    Yes. I believe they intend to retire all 5, including Doug Christie.

  3. Marv

    April 3, 2009 at 3:25 pm

    Ha – good call. I bet they’ll retire Mrs. Christie’s jersey too.

  4. Ricky - Sixers4guidos

    April 7, 2009 at 7:57 am

    his jersey was retired for him being the only NBA player to smoke noxious serbian cigarettes while in activity

    I mean, try that and then come tell me how it feels

    “Lawrence Funderburke’s jersey retirement”


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