- Gritty, Scrappy, Gutsy White Guy Inducted Into MLB Hall of Fame
- Bucs Turn To 80’s Video Game Icon To Fix Jameis
- Clyde McFly argues over an eggplant, a peach and a smiley face
- Traded 4 Times in 6 Days, Luke Ridnour Asks Himself … ‘Who am I?’
- Five Thirty Eight Sets Internet Ablaze With Shocking Report
- Johnny Football’s Money Sign Becomes Latest NFL Star to Retire Early
- Learn The Ins & Outs Of Beer Can Chicken From Clyde McFly
- LeBron’s Wild Hairline Fits Larry O’Brien Trophy … and a Chew Toy
- “Danny Farts Ball” Video Has 500K Views
- The Boston Globe Has Officially Stopped Giving A Shit
Closing the season strong with the Kings and Vlade Divac
- Updated: April 1, 2009
Last night the downtrodden Sacramento Kings retired the jersey of legendary flopping hairball, Vlade Divac.
While admittedly being quite stunned after initially learning of this, it didn't take us long to join in on the wild celebration once we digested his portly career averages of 11.6 points and 7.9 rebounds during his time as a King.
That's right, we're talkin' something like four field goals and three foul shots a night! Blistering stuff indeed.
So in the spirit of closing out a season in Sacramento that we'll all surely remember, we've come up with a few celebrations and giveaways to piggyback on all this Vlade fun:
4/5 – Free Scott Pollard samurai sword and beer night.
4/7 – Lawrence Funderburke's jersey retirement. Come early to watch invisible highlight reel on the jumbotron.
4/8 – Retirement ceremony for Wayman Tisdale's mythical jazz-funk bass guitar.
4/9 – A night of celebration with Rick Adelman. Take in all the highlights from the 2002 playoff series against the Lakers. First 10 people to kill themselves get a complimentary Kings casket.
4/10 – Please put money in this hat night.
4/12 – Free gold-plated nail clipper engraved with Mike Bibby's initials for the first 5 people dumb enough to get there early.
4/13 – Vlade Flip-Flop giveaway.
4/14 – No game scheduled. Just come to the arena and we'll retire something.
4/15 – Again, no game scheduled. Just come to the arena and we'll watch Vlade's old Schick commercial.