Sports Hernia Blog

The All-Time NBA Pretty Boys (Part Tres)

The SportsHernia's hard-hitting journalism continues today with another chapter of the gripping All-Time NBA Pretty Boys series…

Kelly Tripucka
Kelly tripucka infamous latin inches magazine cover  

The original Detroit Piston 'bad boy" made a immediate name for himself on draft night by becoming the first player ever to accept his new team's jersey on stage shirtless, much to the delight of a visibly flustered David Stern.

Tripucka continued his controversial ways in 1991 when he demanded to be traded to a warm weather climate by shaving "Trade Me" into chest, back, shoulder and leg hair.

His fame became so legendary with the ladies in Charlotte, it wasn't uncommon to spot numerous Tripucka impostors around the city's most popular bars and clubs. You'd be surprised as to how many men would hop in a Chewbacca body suit, throw on a Hornets jersey and a brand new pair of Ray-Bans so they could experience just for a minute what it felt like to be Kelly Tripucka.

Interesting Fact:  The movie Teenwolf  was based on a stolen copy of Tripucka's haunting diary from high school. (But unlike the movie, Tripucka was ALWAYS the wolf.)

Mike Gminski
The many faces of mike gminski

Few moments were more memorable in the 80's than the loud, audible gasp heard throughout NBA arenas when Mike Gminski ripped off his warm up pants (as well as the disappointing groan heard when he put them back on). 

This hairy fashion chameleon had dozens of looks; from the bearded Miami Vice (swiftly ripped off by George Michael), to the My Two Dads look, to his understated Brawny Man look with the Nets, blazing a trail for the likes of Vladimir Radmanovic to parade down safely.

Gmisnki fell on hard times later in his career, as he was forced to retire in 1991 after shattering both his pelvic and pubic bones during a visit to The Cheetah Club in Newark.  Gminski tried to commit suicide ?numerous times? after hearing the prognosis.

Manute Bol
Manut bol stairway to heaven

Discovered by an NBA scout's wife while modeling at a Leggs pantyhouse shoot, Bol shunned a lucrative career in leg modeling to become the NBA's most notorious SCUD sex-missile.

Bol, who never shied away from the attention, was well known for taunting women in the crowd, famously switching shorts for his entire rookie season with 5?3 teammate, Muggsy Bogues, leading to the first ever recorded ?dong-slip?.  Bol would go on to record an impressive 2,356 more slips.

His popularity reached rockstar status in 1992 during Philly's provocative "Sixers play topless" promotion where Manute famously dunked on Mark Eaton while an entire sorority from LaSalle dangled from his hulking body.

Dick Bavetta
Dick bavetta mardi gras big pimpin

While ?Big Dick Bavetta? was on his way to becoming one of the NBA's most respected referees over the past 30 years, this legendary ass-vacuum was also busy plowing a path down Pussy Lane that few have matched.

Legend has it that Bavetta was originally tabbed to play Tom Cruise?s part in ?Eyes Wide Shut? before having to drop out due to ?NBA scheduling conflicts?.  Inside sources say though that a jealous Cruise was flexing his Hollywood muscle, and had Bavetta removed from the cast after seeing his 1983 Penthouse sex spread with Grace Jones.  Insiders also say Bavetta porked Kidman shortly after filming began anyway.

Interesting Facts:
– After playing sax in Led Zeppelin for a few years, Bavetta abruptly left the band after claiming ?there just ain?t enough pussy in the rock n? roll game.?
– Is the host at NYC?s ?Le Trapeze? downstairs sex-dungeon every Tuesday and Saturday night.

****

For more historical analysis….

All-Time NBA Pretty Boys Part 1

All-Time NBA Pretty Boys Part Duex

6 Comments

  1. kevin

    April 24, 2009 at 3:22 pm

    Holy shit.

  2. Von Kaiser

    April 24, 2009 at 3:48 pm

    “Najera playing dirty in the post!!”

    *Applause*

  3. birds

    April 24, 2009 at 10:31 pm

    Did you know if you look up “transvestite” on google images your site comes up in the top five? (Picture of Jeff Foster)

  4. Free Sports Betting

    April 26, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    Great series. Looking forward to Part Quatro.

  5. Ricky - Sixers4guidos

    April 27, 2009 at 5:22 pm

    I find the sight of Bavetta’s short socks extremely disturbing, you should censor that

    great list, even if it’s making me consider to get my G-man like mullet cut… suggestions welcome

  6. Gourmet Spud

    April 28, 2009 at 9:12 pm

    Holy shit, this is funny.

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