Sports Hernia Blog

Unorthodox coach stretching the bounds of what’s reasonable

Phil-Jackson-coachingIt appears as though Phil Jackson and his 10 glamorous championship rings are considering coaching from the luxury of his custom made, Indian leather La-Z-Boy chair in the plush confines of his LA palace.  And really, why the hell not?  Mike Lupica has been covering sports for 10 years from the comfort of his Greenwich, Connecticut mansion, so if he can do it, the Zen Master can.  He can even coach with his ass cheeks from inside his Teepee-shaped bath tub if he feels inclined to do so.

But with that will come copycats, as some NBA coaches have already begun to piggyback the idea:

Don Nelson to coach from inside giant martini glass.

Stan Van Gundy to coach from inside King Kong's armpit.

Mike D'Antoni to coach from inside ravioli-filled jacuzzi.

Gregg Popovich to coach from undisclosed beard growing location.

Lawrence Frank to coach from 3rd grader's desk.

Flip Saunders to coach from Kramer's cigar lounge.

Vinny Del Negro to coach from 80s sitcom.

Doc Rivers to coach from Super Dave Osbourne stunt site.

Larry Brown to coach naked inside endless pile of money.

Jim O'Brien to coach from the second stage at Satin Dolls.

George Karl to coach from inside box of Lucky Charms.

Scott Skiles to coach from inside stress ball.

Rick Adelman to coach from Richard Alpert's anti-aging seminar.

Rick Carlisle to coach from SNL's Weekend Update desk as Tim Calhoun.

Avery Johnson to coach from inside his own mouth even though he's unemployed.

Mike Dunleavy to coach from inside principal's office just as soon as he's done with John Bender.

Jerry Sloan to coach from wherever he damn well pleases.

Mike Brown to still coach with head lodged firmly in LeBrons ass-cheeks.

Mike Woodson to coach from… who the hell is Mike Woodson?

3 Comments

  1. KneeJerkNBA

    June 24, 2009 at 2:54 pm

    Saw recently that teams are firing their advance scouts. The Lakers might consider inventing CoachBot 3000, a super-computer that calculates PER, plus/minus, probabilities and matchups from Staples and relays the information to Kobe via Twitter. Or they could just hire Rambis and get it over with.

  2. Jason @ IIATMS

    June 24, 2009 at 3:58 pm

    Isiah is coaching from home, too. No complaints from any remaining Knicks fans.

  3. Jersey

    June 25, 2009 at 2:35 am

    And in the NHL, Brent Sutter isn’t coaching because he wants to be with his family all the time. Oh, whoopsy!

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