Sports Hernia Blog

The Ultimate NBA Player

Just hours away from the 2009 NBA Draft, the SportsHernia staff began to wonder, what would the perfect basketball player look like?  If one were able to combine the skills and unique talents of hoop legends, what would the NBA's Ultimate Player actually consist of?  After thoughtful consideration, it was really quite easy.

BEHOLD!

Nba-ultimate-player

1 – Manute Bol's right leg
2 – Shawn Bradley's left leg
3 – Jack Sikma's perm
4 – Oliver Miller's abs
5 – Yinka Dare's vision
6 – Mark Madsen's rythym
7 – AC Green's will
8 – Kelly Tripucka's chest hair
9 – Danny Schayes' shoulder/back hair
10 – Popeye Jones' looks
11 – Roy Tarpley's nostrils
12 – Ben Wallace's touch
13 – Jeff Ruland's knee
14 – Rasheed Wallace's gray poof
15 – Sharone Wright's toned arm
16 – The nutritional savvy of Frank Williams & Lamar Odom
17 – Mutombo's wang
18 – Eddy Curry's drive

10 Comments

  1. Ricky - Sixers4guidos

    June 25, 2009 at 12:25 pm

    fantastic

    19. Uwe Blab breathe *

    (* = reportedly one of the worst smells ever, to the point that you coulnd’t stay closer than 10 feet from him)

  2. KneeJerkNBA

    June 25, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    Nice! The Milwaukee Bucks would totally draft that guy in the lottery.

    @Ricky- nice Uwe Blab reference, btw.

  3. Losloseeboy

    June 26, 2009 at 1:19 am

    I can’t believe Ewing’s harpoon-cock lost out!

  4. DownSwinging.com

    June 26, 2009 at 12:28 pm

    Vince Carter in his younger days?

  5. sdfsd

    June 26, 2009 at 12:29 pm

    Looks like Baba Booey

  6. Cecilio's Scribe

    June 26, 2009 at 1:22 pm

    pure genius

  7. Buy Tramadol - Jasmine

    August 14, 2009 at 2:34 am

    Haha! What about Patrick Ewings nose?

  8. Marja

    June 20, 2010 at 6:53 pm

  9. 8004321000

    October 18, 2010 at 12:56 pm

    Definitely missing Lebron’s nose.

  10. academy sports coupons

    June 21, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    HAHAH hilarious pic, what an awesome basketball player that would be! Needs Rip’s face mask.

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