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Steve Phillips: Through The Years
- Updated: October 23, 2009
1993 – Doctors catch Steve Phillips porking shlubby nurse during delivery of first child.
1994 – Phillips delivers sandwich to new secretary with wang placed firmly between two slices of bread.
1995 – On a road game against the Reds, Phillips disappears for two hours only to be found in the visiting clubhouse bathroom with a bucket of Icy Hot, Marge Schott, and her St. Bernard, Schottzie.
1996 – Phillips replaces all pictures of hot dogs on concession menus with various glamor shots of his woody.
1997 – Phillips trades Lance Johnson for a really good blow job.
2000 – Phillips and a butt-naked Morgana the Kissing Bandit emerge from
Shea home run apple during the 7th inning stretch of a day game.
2001 – After being asked to shovel the driveway, Phillips is instead spotted vigorously humping the shed.
2002 – Phillips gets the boot from Mets Christmas party after attaching a mistletoe to the back of his ass-less pants.
2003 – Phillips finally gets fired from Mets after security cameras catch him humping Fred Wilpon's shitzu, Muffy.
2004 – Phillips becomes majority share owner of Horny Goat Weed, LLC.
2005 – On day one at ESPN, Phillips circles cubicle approximately 136 times in the nude, heroically creating his own Naked Mile.
2006 – Intern complains after Phillips stirs her coffee with his junk. He apologizes by bringing her a mug of hot water with tea bags in it, which were also his balls.
2007 – Phillips begins to attend production meetings with pants on. However, he does remain topless.
2008 – Phillips accidentally walks out of dressing room naked with two kissing fish dangling from his testicles.
2008 – Sensing colleagues may be onto him, Phillips decides to wear nipple clamps under his shirt.
2009 – Producers escort Phillips from Sunday Night Baseball booth after
incessantly demanding John Miller put on King Kong Bundy's tights.