Sports Hernia Blog

Mets continue fashion breakthrough with bold new line of hats

The New York Mets continued their big week today by unveiling a fresh line of sweet lids in what appears to be a heartfelt olive branch to their devoted, old-school fanbase as a way of making up for all those hideous uniform combinations they've introduced over the last several years.

In a word: Victory.

Mets-UNC-Tarheel-Hat

Mets-UNC Mash-up Hat

Marketed To: UNC fans, fraternity brothers, hip hop fanatics, anyone with a noticeable strut.

****

Mets-Zubaz-Tribute-Hat

Mets Zubaz 4Ever Hat

Marketed To: People with no concept of fashion or reality, virgins, the entire cast of ThunderCats.

****

Mets-Home-Run-Apple-Hat

Mets Home Run Apple Even Though HRs Are Hard To Come By Hat

Marketed To: Foam finger fanatics and owners of drinking helmets.  Also, wacky grandfathers.

****

Mets-Pasta-Hat

Spaghetti Slop On Inexplicably Green Mets Hat

Marketed To:  All five boroughs as well as North Jersey and Long Island.

****

New-york-mets-siren-hat

Mets Hockey Siren Hat

Marketed To:  Mind-blowing idiots, Wal-Mart employees.  Specially wired hat blares obnoxiously loud after each home run.

****

Mets-Antlers-Hat 

Mets Celebration Of Antlers Hat

Marketed To: Knights of Columbus, Stonecutters, Orcs.

****

New-york-mets-orthodox-jewi   

Mets Orthodox Jew Hat

Marketed To: The Diamond District.

****

Lenny-Figure-Mets-Hat

Lenny Dykstra Surfing On My Lid Hat

Marketed To:  Tobacco chewers, gamblers, cigar aficionados, those who have recently filed for Chapter 11. 

****

Mets-Dead-Rat-Hat

Mets Dead Rat Hat

Marketed To: WFAN callers.

****

Steve-Phillips-Hat-Day

Steve Phillips Special Edition Hat

Marketed To: All those lovers out there, especially Kiki Vandeweghe.  The dangling ballbag appears that it might obstruct the view, but the actual balls hang low enough that the sight lines are clear.

4 Comments

  1. Dr. Blogstein

    January 7, 2010 at 12:12 pm

    I think I’d actually wear the Home Run Apple hat.

  2. Upstate Underdog

    January 7, 2010 at 12:15 pm

    Lenny Dykstra hat: tobacco spit stains not included.

  3. Gerrard Sir Hornypants

    January 7, 2010 at 12:27 pm

    still in shock they didn’t make Bay wear the Dead Rat hat…

  4. ForWhomJayBellTolls

    January 8, 2010 at 4:48 am

    I’m still waiting on the Mets “Outback bloomin’ onion” hat.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>