Sports Hernia Blog

Canada rolls over Russia for the sole purpose of pleasing this man

Hockey-inspires-some-Canadians

This Canadian hockey lifer will not smile or even think about changing his facial expression until he's chewing a gold fucking medal.  And no, that siren will not blare with great fury until true victory is had for the host nation.

One-Sided Hockey Win for Canada Over Russia [NY Times]

19 Comments

  1. Bob's Blitz

    February 25, 2010 at 12:26 pm

    Buzz Lightyear got off the juice and on the sauce, ay?

  2. Paolo X

    February 25, 2010 at 1:21 pm

    Larry Bud Melman’s brother?
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_%22Bud%22_Melman

    Doesn’t he look stopped up with syrup perhaps?

    Does he need some serious Hernia-branded colon blowing treatment to unclog everything including that hardened poop-face?

    What will Hernia charge him for it? What is my cut?

    If there is an attorney in the house, could this man be sued for estoppel?

    Enquiring Hernia fans want to know! Now!

    Boo-yah Go Canada drop a big load!

    /Canada Homer’d

  3. TheSportsHernia

    February 25, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    Close. He actually bottles his noxious farts into old syrup bottles. A true entrepreneur.

  4. jj

    February 25, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    Canada is becoming a real Douche Country. I mean if they get this excited for a hockey game then we all know they got problems.

    Look at this Dickwad. How old are you man? Do you have kids? Grow the FUCK up!!

  5. Natalie Dylan

    February 25, 2010 at 3:05 pm

    Kids? Even with Canada’s liberal prostitution laws he’s never had sex.

  6. Bourbon-Faced on Shit Street

    February 25, 2010 at 4:24 pm

    OH NO CANADA!!!

    Own the podium?

    Good luck with that!!

    USA!!! USA!!! USA!!!

  7. jaretdezotell@hotmail.com

    February 25, 2010 at 6:09 pm

    Oh dont worry we only have 4 more gold medals to come..you guys can have your 89 bronze medals.. we’ll take the most gold..CANADA!! CANADA!! CANADA!!

  8. RG

    February 25, 2010 at 8:06 pm

    you just cemented yourself in douche history. In case you didn’t know, it’s Canada’s national sport and arguably a better one than baseball according to many people (but whatever, different flavours).Not to mention one of the most hyped Olympic matchups/events this year. So should you not cheer for aerial skiing, alpine, snowboarding (things Americans have won at, cheered for and rightly so). You have clearly never been to a hockey game or any pro sports event for that matter given you think this guy is somehow a rarity. Watch some sports highlights…you’ll find wackier stuff than that. I still can’t get over how ridiculous a sentence this is (considering it was Canada-Russia):
    ” I mean if they get this excited for a hockey game then we all know they got problems. ”

    You seem like the type of person who thinks Stephen Colbert is ACTUALLY an ultra-conservative. wow.

  9. Winter Olympics = Global Babe Showcase

    February 25, 2010 at 8:23 pm

    Canada take the most gold?

    Good luck with with that too!!

    And I’ll take the USA’s 89 third place bronzes over Canada’s 89 last place finishes!

  10. ALL HAIL THE MOTHERLAND!!!!!

    February 25, 2010 at 8:28 pm

    Fuck you North American pigs! Mother Russia with own your asses at Sochi 2014!

    Death to you mother-bitches and mothers of fuck!

  11. Abracadabra

    February 25, 2010 at 8:28 pm

    Every NHL team has as least one guy like this. You should see the cloak-and-rave-lights nutjob in Washington. Hol-eee Christmas. He feels that his spastic twirling is a “service” to the team and has a positive effect on the outcome of games.

    Then again, the Capitals have been doing pretty well lately. Hmm.

  12. All Canadian girls want it rough, and I may as well give it to them

    February 25, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    “OH NO CANADA” is a keeper.

    Can’t even beat the U.S. in ice hockey? What next? U.S.A. beating England in soccer? U.S.A. beating China in ping-pong? U.S.A. beating Canada in moose-jerking and cock-sucking?

  13. TheSportsHernia

    February 25, 2010 at 10:35 pm

    “Death to you mother-bitches and mothers of fuck!”

    I finally have the closing line to my very much belated holiday thank you cards.

  14. jaretdezotell@hotmail.com

    February 26, 2010 at 12:58 am

    Well we just picked up another gold over you tough americans tonight..im gonna go smoke a joint and walk into traffic.. no worries with my free health care and all

  15. Marv

    February 26, 2010 at 1:23 am

    This Guy was actually interviewed on NPR leading up to the game. I mean, it was on radio but description sounded just like him. Then again, there could be thousands of dudes in Vancouver dressed just like this Guy (and yes, I capped Guy on purpose. It’s probably his name.)

  16. Paolo X

    February 26, 2010 at 1:33 am

    Hernia did a great job on that Whitlock/Daulerio post, and you ungrateful heathens re-pay him with nationalistic hate in the name of national pride?

    I apologise for my fellow American’s provocation to start it, but that commenter normally does it as a goof and everyone took the bait.

  17. DaveDragani

    March 1, 2010 at 12:05 am

    so in case all you americans were wondering….final score canada 3 usa 2 (OT). AND we came out with the most gold medals ever in winter olympic history. you might have more bronze but nobody remembers who wins bronze, only gold.

  18. TheSportsHernia

    March 1, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    Dave, we’re honored that you opted to celebrate the special moment with us.

  19. tamtam

    March 1, 2010 at 4:26 pm

    ROFL!!

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