Sports Hernia Blog

Royal Rumble erupts on J.R. Smith’s chest

JR Smith is even worse on defense than he is at driving

An explosive royal rumble sprouted on the crowded chest of Denver guard J.R. Smith during last night's highly entertaining Cavs-Nuggets game.  The bloody brawl supposedly began because of a heated disagreement over shot selection between notorious figures Black Jesus, the New York Yankees logo, Mama and the infamous Red Decepticon.

The melee got so ugly it spilled over to Smith's back, where the new Coke logo,
Tomax and Xamot, Hurley's winning lotto numbers, the Villain from the game Burger Time, and several surprisingly lengthy Dr. Seuss passages got involved.

Referee Steve Javie had no choice but to dish out 17 technicals, somehow none of which were charged to Smith.

This wasn't the first time a tattoo Royal Rumble sprang to life on a member of the Denver Nuggets.  A few weeks ago, Chris Andersen's flesh was the battleground of a similar bout, one so severe that it rendered the Birdman's hair utterly lifeless.

14 Comments

  1. Juggs

    February 19, 2010 at 12:01 pm

    I’ve been waiting for this one.

  2. Von Kaiser

    February 19, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    Jesus christ, J.R. Smith is fucking idiot.

  3. TheSportsHernia

    February 19, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    But he’s our idiot.

  4. BadMovieTV

    February 19, 2010 at 4:41 pm

    I’ve seen walls in the Bronx with less shit scribbled on them.

  5. Shane McMayonnaise

    February 19, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    At this point, is there anyone on the Nuggets that wouldn’t qualify as a Decepticon?

  6. Brian

    February 19, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    Wouldn’t you just love it if the NBA published the IQs of these freaks? Think any of them reach triple digits?

  7. TheSportsHernia

    February 19, 2010 at 4:49 pm

    To be fair, J.R. Smith is an excellent driver:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._R._Smith#Off_the_court

  8. Brian

    February 19, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    What a guy.

  9. KneeJerkNBA

    February 19, 2010 at 5:27 pm

    Nice mention on BDL, guys. Keep up the good work!

  10. Augi

    February 19, 2010 at 7:53 pm

    Young Money logo, not New York Yankees

  11. TheSportsHernia

    February 19, 2010 at 8:37 pm

    Thanks dude, we appreciate it

  12. TheSportsHernia

    February 19, 2010 at 8:37 pm

    So he’s a self-marketing whore?

  13. Augi

    February 20, 2010 at 5:10 pm

    I guess you could say that.
    He has some weird tattoos but I like how they look, no matter what they are.

  14. theking

    February 26, 2010 at 12:58 am

    who is he a lil wayne fan or sum

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