- Gritty, Scrappy, Gutsy White Guy Inducted Into MLB Hall of Fame
- Bucs Turn To 80’s Video Game Icon To Fix Jameis
- Clyde McFly argues over an eggplant, a peach and a smiley face
- Traded 4 Times in 6 Days, Luke Ridnour Asks Himself … ‘Who am I?’
- Five Thirty Eight Sets Internet Ablaze With Shocking Report
- Johnny Football’s Money Sign Becomes Latest NFL Star to Retire Early
- Learn The Ins & Outs Of Beer Can Chicken From Clyde McFly
- LeBron’s Wild Hairline Fits Larry O’Brien Trophy … and a Chew Toy
- “Danny Farts Ball” Video Has 500K Views
- The Boston Globe Has Officially Stopped Giving A Shit
Madden ’11 Secrets Finally Revealed
- Updated: August 27, 2010
– When using the Cincinnati Bengals, press "Left, Right, Up, Up R2, D2" to turn T.O. and Ochocinco into Siegfried and Roy. Press L2 again if you want them to be attacked by an actual Bengal.
– If you're using the Ravens, hold down every button on your controller to activate Donte Stallworth's car and just drive through the defense with reckless abandon. Special bonus level allows Rae Carruth to pop out of the trunk and puts Raw Lewis at the scene.
– Bag your own groceries while speaking Dutch to unlock the all-new "Kurt Christ mode," where an image of a bearded Kurt Warner dressed in robes floats over Matt Leinart and shakes his head in disappointment.
– Left, Right, Up, Down, Down, Down when using the Broncos makes Tim Tebow grow devil horns and a tail.
– Playing with a woody forces Antonio Cromartie to go into Alimony Mode where he is forced to play in the UFL, CFL, Minor League Arena and the WWE.
– Up, Up, L1+R2, Down – using Colts – unlocks Peyton Manning, the affable spokesman, instead of Peyton Manning, the boring QB.
– Play with the Browns in "Franchise Legends" mode and Madden '11 immediately turns into Burger Time.
– The Create-a-Player Mode feature now allows the user to choose from a vast array of unique character traits such as arrestability and rapeability.
– New QB Training Mode literally sends a naked Jon Gruden to your house to go over game film.
– Do nothing and you'll likely see a Nutrisystem commercial.
– Unlocking "Die In a Fire" mode allows you to choose from a list of inept, slobbering announcers such as Bill Maas, Paul McGuire, Matt Millen and a bunch of other fat guys.
– New wireless audio setup now makes talking to 12-year old virgins about your girlfriend in Canada even easier when playing online.
– Wearing nothing but a pair of Crocs while playing with the Vikings automatically sends a cell phone pic of your wang to a brunette with a bulbous rack.
– When playing against the Jets, activate the cast of Rampage with both 'L' buttons so you can wreck shit with Fireman Ed.
– New ultra-realistic Coaching Mode lets you create your own playbook from scratch, hire assistant coaches, draft your own players, study countless hours of game-film, ignore your wife and children, gain an obscene amount of weight, and dress like a slob seven days a week. If you do all of this, you might very well finish 9-7.
– Big Ben Mode: Up, Down, Left, Right, L1 while using the Steelers unleashes Big Ben's little Ben, forcing him to play the remainder of the game with Mr. Gray sticking out of his uniform. Not recommended.
– When using the Raiders, hold down all buttons during halftime to activate "Knife Fight In-the-Stands" mode.
– Intense Competition! Get within one game of an undefeated season and Mercury Morris of the '72 Dolphins will come to your house and shit on your controller while you play.
– Spill beer all over your game console to unlock Philadelphia's special drunk tank all-star team.
– Link scores and highlights to your Facebook and Twitter accounts to show everyone just what a pathetic, lonely, assclown you are.
– Play naked for a free Wendy's hamburger, delivered to you by former Lions assistant coach Joe Cullen.
– Sit on your controller and your WR will date a Kardashian.
– New age discrimination mode: When user's entered date of birth is over 40, system shuts down, transforms into a cannon, and immediately shoots said user into a forgotten sea.
– If you are upset your favorite player isn't on the cover of Madden, please rape yourself.
– If you waited in line to buy Madden '11, please FedEx your balls to Guatemala.
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