Sports Hernia Blog

Tony Parker files for divorce as wife morphs into beaver

Tony Park Eva Longoria divorce

We're not 100% positive just yet, but our entertainment source has just leaked that in addition to the Eva-Tony split, Miss Longoria is also being connected to a string of violent mole-gnawings that have struck downtown Los Angeles over the past several weeks.  More to come as the information trickles in, but while we're here, we might as well go on record and say that her next logical mate will be hunky announcer, Ken Rosensquirrel.

UPDATE: There's apparently no divorce; for now. But there is a beaver.

UPDATE #2: There is a divorce, and there's also a distraught beaver.

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker Divorce [TMZ]
Screengrab via TMZ

12 Comments

  1. GB Bongiovanni

    November 17, 2010 at 5:02 pm

    I’m sorry but how do you cheat on Eva Longoria, especially with Brent Barry’s wife. WTF?

  2. Paolo X

    November 17, 2010 at 9:22 pm

    I hear swinging is alive and well.

  3. Paolo X

    November 17, 2010 at 9:29 pm

    Eva Longoria is a great example of a hot chick gone ninny. The success got to her head despite terrible acting skills too. The physical transport of the wedding cake from LA to Paris, where they have some of the best pastry chefs in the world already, was an ominous bad sign in that fairytale wedding of this High-Maintenance Chick.

    It seems the down-to-earth girl from San Antonio morphed into that ninny Gabrielle Solis after all. And she sucked in “The Sentinel” and almost ruined that movie too. Actually it could have been good but they pussed out on the script as usual.

    Whoever gets her for a few nights on the rebound of course will likely enjoy himself driving to the hole as perhaps she’s missed from Tony in awhile, but she is far from a slam dunk for sure. :b

  4. Farmer Jack

    November 18, 2010 at 11:21 am

    YOU DAMN WOODCHUCKS!!!

    QUIT CHUCKIN’ MY WOOD!!!

  5. That Woman's Ass

    November 18, 2010 at 11:22 am

    Looks like that beaver’s up for grabs now…

  6. tamtam

    November 19, 2010 at 6:12 pm

    And you know this how…?

  7. June Cleaver

    November 21, 2010 at 7:52 pm

    Honey, don’t you think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night?

  8. kiiimiko

    November 26, 2010 at 9:07 am

    Goddammit! I thought you were gone from here for good *sighs*

  9. tamtam

    November 27, 2010 at 5:44 pm

    Really? I like reading Paolo’s ramblings, no matter how long-winded and Lebowski-like they may seem.

  10. Paolo X

    December 8, 2010 at 8:24 am

    Personal experience no, but Craiglist …check it out LOL!

  11. Paolo X

    December 8, 2010 at 8:26 am

    The feeling is more than mutual of course. I was hoping you were not only gone but also that you were writhing in perpetual misery pooping the bed or some similar sordid fate. :)

    Seriously, it’s good to have reasonable opposition if you have solid points. If someone has something to back up their views more than an opinion, it keeps everyone honest in at least that regard.

  12. kiiimiko

    December 8, 2010 at 3:57 pm

    As with all your comments… tl;dr

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