Apocalypse Yao: Through the years

With the sad news of the great Yao Ming's premature retirement, we have gone ahead and dig-dugged through the archives to unveil this emotional rollercoaster of a timeline: Yao Ming "Through the Years"…

• June 2001: Scouts buzz after Yao measures in an astonishing 8'5 at combine, but it is short-lived after it was revealed he is only 7'6 sans afro
• November 2002: Yao is baffled and irate after his post-game massage does not include a happy ending
• December 2002: Yao re-popularizes the Ivan Drago flattop on a global scale
• February 2003 : Yao dines with Metal Mouth
• July 2003: Yao takes leisurely ride on bicycle with Earl Boykins in the front basket
• January 2004: Yao & Moochie Norris trade wives
• May 2004: Yao playfully stuffs Tyronn Lue into his wonton soup at a team dinner
• March 2005: Yao stares directly at you through the television 
• April 2005: Yao becomes only player since Manute Bol to dunk his own balls in a game
  
• January 2006: The selfless Ming gives himself a Sports Hernia in an effort to promote humorous sports blog he discovered while googling "cheeseburger earmuffs"
• March 2006: For reasons forever unknown, Yao drapes his legs in Christmas lights and miraculously uses more bulbs than Clark Griswold
• February 2007: Jeff Van Gundy walks clean through Yao's legs to berate referee
• April 2007: As a goof, Yao suggests aloud that China build a giant bird's nest; a year later the Beijing National Stadium becomes the centerpiece of the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing
• October 2008: Yao goes out to dinner with wife in full Rockets uniform and inexplicably, a pair of cleats
• February 2009: Yao enters own house to the nWo theme song while strumming a believable air guitar
  April 2009: Yao speaks in Sylvester Stallone "Cobra voice" for entire year
• December 2010: Has entire Rockets beat team convinced he was soaking his ailing foot in Snake Soup to heal
• January 2011: Yao's interpreter wins "best job on earth" for the 10th year running
• 2001-2011: Yao pretends to not speak or understand English
• Today: Yao starts filming buddy cop movie with Gheorghe Muresan tentatively titled "Above the Law"

4 Comments

1. 

   Cass

   July 20, 2011 at 9:00 pm

   when was the part where he wrote a check?

   Reply
2. 

   kiiimiko

   July 22, 2011 at 8:43 pm

   I thought about you guys when I heard he was retiring 🙁

   Reply
3. 

   Online sports store

   July 23, 2011 at 6:58 am

   hmmm “best job on earth” for the 10th year running , good thing , please checkout this site
   cricket training

   Reply
4. 

   Spartan300workout

   July 25, 2011 at 3:26 am

   I agree ! it’s the best job on earth ! Congratulations to Yao Ming.

   Reply