Sports Hernia Blog

Report: Athletes butt cheeks finally being used by advertisers

Butt cheeks rented out as ad space
In a long overdue development in the world or sports advertising, British beach volleyball players Shauna Mullin and Zara Dampney have rented out their butt cheeks for money.  The duo announced that they will be placing high-tech QR codes on their bottoms that will enable men to be sent to a gambling website via their smartphone (after they are done masturbating to them).

While this is appears to be a profound step in the right direction for advertising, it certainly isn't the first time athletes have used their bodies as advertisements.  Here's a look at a few notable examples:

  • 1985: Avia sneakers pay Kelly Tripucka $10,000 to shave "Avia" into his shoulder, back, and neck hair
  • 1986: After numerous controversial dong-slips, Manute Bol is paid $50,000 to place Chiquita Banana stickers on his wang for all games
  • 1987: Notorious boob juggler Kiki Vandeweghe becomes the face (and body) of Vaseline, agreeing to cover his entire body in the petroleum jelly and immediately catapulting his basketball and swingers career
  • 1989: Kenny "Sky" Walker has his flat-top cut into the shape of a BK Knights sneaker for $3.00
  • 1994: The "Got Milk?" ad campaign comes to a screeching halt after Greg Ostertag places a milk mustache over his dong in his legendary Playgirl spread.
  • 1997: Taco Bell wisely pays for just 1 centimeter of space on Brazilian soccer player Ronaldo's stomach. Since then, his expanding gut has stretched that centimeter to almost an entire foot
  • 2000: John Runyan wears Petco flea collar (no money is exchanged, Runyan is simply given a lifetime supply of collars)
  • 2001: Tony Siragusa agrees to wear 2 Nathan's hot dogs as earings for his entire last season.  The Goose continues to wear those same hot dog earings to this day
  • 2004: Notorious flopper Manu Ginobili receives $20K a night to wrap entire body with Swiffers
  • 2010: Nokia shells out $100,000 to have Brett Favre paint "sent from my C-7 Nokia phone" on his penis

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