Sports Hernia Blog

How will Jada and Will change the Sixers?

Will Smith

As you might have heard Jada and Will Smith have agreed to purchase a portion of the Philadelphia 76ers. What can 76er fans expect from the dynamic duo? We looked into our crystal meth ball and forsee the following:

– The team will play on shorter courts and lower hoops, just like Will did on the Fresh Prince

– Whip My Hair Back to play during every timeout and every dead ball and every basket made 

— Halftime performances will now feature "The Carlton Dancers"  (this would be awesome actually)

— Every player will be contractually obligated to compliment Will's acting in Six Degrees of Separation

— Jazzy Jeff will be the official pre-game 'hype-man'

– Mirroring Smith's career, players on the 76ers will play a serious game every so often but mostly goof off and make a ton of money

— Sideline Gatorade and Ice Packs will be replaced by Barley Water and e-Meters

 

2 Comments

  1. Paolo X

    October 20, 2011 at 8:20 pm

    I lived in that dump of an area for two years, and with a few good things out of it, it sucks ass overall as do all its teams and especially the 76ers. It’s NOT a basketball town at all despite what anyone from there will attempt to claim to you.

    In fact I proposed when living there that everything south of the PA Turnpike and inside the Blue Route in SE PA should be given to the dump across the Delaware River otherwise known as New Jersey. It was only because Philly’s own Governor Rendel was in office that they probably did not even consider my offer to eliminate that liability from the state’s books in that fashion.

    I remember going to a bar soon after I moved there in May 2008 to catch also some NBA playoff action, but they had ALL the fuckin’ TVs on the Phillies. And they did not talk about those Phillies enough all fuckin’ year too.

    They ran lame-ass promos for the 76ers with that douche Pat Croce for two years and no one gave a shit and no one will before too long in this regard too.

    Fuck Philly — your Sixers blow!

  2. qwijibo

    October 22, 2011 at 10:30 am

    The Fresh Prince buys a NBA team, while Jazzy Jeff buys a NBA team…….jersey

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