- Ode To Grantland
- Cris Collinsworth Has Actually ‘Seen Everything’
- Tom Brady Accidentally Wolfs Up During Court Room Sketch
- Gritty, Scrappy, Gutsy White Guy Inducted Into MLB Hall of Fame
- Bucs Turn To 80’s Video Game Icon To Fix Jameis
- Clyde McFly Argues Over An Eggplant, A Peach And A Smiley Face
- Traded 4 Times in 6 Days, Luke Ridnour Asks Himself … ‘Who am I?’
- Five Thirty Eight Sets Internet Ablaze With Shocking Report
- Johnny Football’s Money Sign Becomes Latest NFL Star to Retire Early
- Learn The Ins & Outs Of Beer Can Chicken From Clyde McFly
Ode To Grantland
- Updated: February 3, 2016
It is hard to believe that it has not yet been three months since ESPN announced it was shutting down Grantland. The brainchild of Bill Simmons made quite a mark on the sports media world, in an ascent that mirrored the career of Steve Francis: meteoric, brief and possibly drunk.
All of us at the Hernia were either fans of the site or, at the very least, appreciated its presence, view and scope. In a tip of the cap to the now-defunct media giant, we present a piece from our archives, honoring Grantland in the only way we know how.
Enjoy the enjoyment.
Grantland Contributor Writes 12,345 Words Before Getting To His Point
In his latest post for Grantland, contributor Jonah Zane impressively spewed out 12,345 words before eventually and painfully getting to the point of his article. Readers of Zane’s post were taken through a serpentine and disjointed journey of his personal musings before finally landing on the reason why they clicked on the article in the first place: The Washington National’s game was rained out.
Here is a list of just a few things Zane touched on in his article before mentioning the canceled game:
- Esoteric and completely irrelevant pop culture references
- Links to some Youtube clips that he’s apparently proud to know exist
- Reaching similes to King Joffrey from “Game of Thrones”
- A bunch of masturbatory analytics
- For no apparent reason, he brings up Kanye West’s Yeezus album
- Hashtags of some bullshit
- References to the BBC show “Black Mirror” – just because
Follow the @TheSportsHernia on Twitter for more life-altering sports takes.