Soccer

England’s Jermain Defoe given yellow card for excessive weeping

As difficult as it is to tolerate the relentless crying, whining and bitching – think Rasheed Wallace...

Germany’s “Ball-Bump/Make-Out” routine raising eyebrows at World Cup

This is basically the incredibly gay version of Charles Barkley and Rick Mahorn's terrifying and often violent...

Mysterious Chilean soccer player receives dreaded purple nurple

When any person has their arms spread so helplessly far apart, they're pretty much begging for a...

Unknown soccer player spotted kicking ass in Street Fighter

Man City’s Roberto Mancini probably not running into Rex Ryan at tailor

"Wait, wait, wait, wait.  This scarf is just as important as this game." Roberto Mancini Sets Scarf...

Heroic soccer fan too concerned with scarf to score on goalie

Somehow it only took 11 security guards to carry the fashionable striker away.  Coincidentally, this is the...

Domino’s CEO named new athletic director at University of Michigan (seriously)

This announcement, coupled with Rich Rodriguez in his third season, should greatly boost the amount of disgusting...

Happy Holidays from The Sports Hernia (And a gift idea or two)

Since so many people suffer from being cheap disgraces, we're here to help.  It's very...

BREAKING: Every pro athlete alive hoping to disinvent the internet

Inventive ideas: Don't text your mistress … OR … Just stay single, ya dipshits.

David Beckham’s unfortunate transformation into that weird dude from Limp Bizkit